Phish-Bowling With Phelps

As it turns out, life can get higher for Olympic aqua-boy Michael Phelps. Phelps, 23, recently had a Kodak moment that would make Cheech and Chong choke on their joints. A photo of him released earlier this week shows the Olympian ripping bong hits while visiting the University of South Carolina.

Okay America, let's all take a big, collective breath. The Golden Boy is not selling himself for a crack-cocaine rock on the streets of Harlem. He never 'misremembered' taking steroids from Brian McNamee. No. He simply smoked marijuana. Hell, our last two leaders of the free world admitted to dabbling with the hippie lettuce. What's the problem with a college-aged young adult indulging in some vices?

Yes, Michael Phelps is a role model for kids. Yes, he is under the strict microscope of being America's poster boy. Should he be reprimanded for actions? In my humble opinion, no. But I understand that actions must have consequences. And since the photo was released to the public, USA swimming has suspended Phelps for three months. On top of that, the Kellog Company released a statement saying they will not be renewing their contract with Phelps.

And if all that wasn't enough, the state of South Carolina are investigating if they can bring him up on charges. Well, I guess everyone needs their fifteen minutes in the lime light.

The International Olympic Committee said while marijuana is not a "performance-enhancing" drug, they are still investigating how to approach the situation. Are you kidding me? Not a performance-enhancing drug? If it were to reach the public that Phelps hit the water-pipe before the water and still blew everyone out of the pool, I think the I.O.C. would have to give him the gold and silver medals.

The only aspect of performance-enhancing marijuana would aid would be helping stomach Phelps' rigorous 12,000 calorie-a-day diet. But he's not munching on Doritos or Cheetohs for two-and-a-half hours while watching Half-Baked.

For Breakfast, Phelps begins with three fried-egg sandwiches loaded with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions and mayonnaise. Two cups of coffee. One five-egg omelet. One bowl of grits. Three slices of French toast topped with powdered sugar. Three chocolate-chip pancakes.

For Lunch he has one pound of enriched pasta, two large ham and cheese sandwiches with mayo on white bread and energy drinks packing 1,000 calories.

Finally for dinner he cools down with another pound of pasta, one entire pizza and guzzles down more energy drinks.

Despite the bad publicity and all the shots taken on late-night talk shows, Phelps' image will only be tarnished for the time being. If anything, this could be a blessing for the kid. He has been in such high demand since his record-setting performance in Beijing, it seems as if he hasn't had time to breath, or perhaps exhale. Phelps could use this time to relax and step out of the lime light until the 2012 Olympics in London. Hopefully for him, this smoke will have blown over by then.