Jets Scrimmage at Hofstra University

NYJets.com- The New York Jets officially open their 2009 training camp with two practices on July 31 at SUNY Cortland and announced details of a training camp schedule that feature practices open to the public in three different locations - Central New York, Long Island and New Jersey. On Aug. 12, the team will hold a special Family Night Practice brought to you by Verizon FiOS on Long Island at Hofstra University’s James M. Shuart Stadium.

Hofstra University was the home of the Jets training facility and training camp from 1968 until the team moved into its new facility in September 2008. At the conclusion of this special practice, the entire team will head to the sidelines to sign autographs for fans. Three more practices will be open to the public on Aug. 22, 26 and 27 at the Atlantic Health Jets Training Center in Florham Park, N.J. At each location, fans attending can enjoy Generation Jets Fest and the Jets Shop Merchandise Tent.

Not a bad way to spend a dreary Long Island evening. Besides, Hector--my meth dealer-- just got pinched and is doing 10-20 on Rikers. To get back on track..I'm not a Jets fan. But I don't hate the Jets. I pity the Jets (at this point, you should get that I'm a Pats fan). And their fans. The only thing worse than a second-rate franchise are the fans of that second-rate franchise (this goes for you too Mets fans). The Jets aren't even the best team in the city of New York--Buffalo could be better than them this year!

Despite my distaste for the Gang Green and , all I wanted was to give rookie QB Mark Sanchez a tiny interview. I had spent hours preparing and carefully constructing my questions. I knew exactly how to get under his skin.

• Do you think you will ever be better than Brett Favre?
• Can you handle the media coverage like Brett Favre did?
• What'd you think of Brett Favre unretiring again?
• Are you interested in do Wrangler commercials now that Brett Favre won't being them?

You can see where I was trying to go with my line of questioning. However, I never got the chance to ask him because that pretty boy piece of shit was too busy being hounded by deranged homoerotic males shrieking over Number 6's jockstrap. I mean who do these guys think Sanchez is anyway, Tom Brady? I mean c'mon! Even Giants fans fall in love with Brady's baby blues!

So since I couldn't get the proper interview I did get some good footage of their scrimmage. Don't worry Jets fans, I already shipped the video out to Foxborough. It'll be in Belichick's hands by Thursday morning. That's what you get for screwing over the Improper Sportsonian!

BOSTON MASSACRED; SUFFERS 4-GAME SWEEP IN NEW YORK!

ESPN.com- Johnny Damon and Mark Teixeira hit back-to-back homers in the eighth inning Sunday night, and the New York Yankees beat the Boston Red Sox 5-2 to finish their first four-game home sweep of their bitter rival in 24 years. Victor Martinez hit a two-run homer off Phil Coke (4-3) in the top of the eighth, snapping Boston's 31-inning scoreless streak and making it 2-1.Daniel Bard (0-1) retired the first two hitters in the bottom half before Damon drove a 98-mph fastball over the right-field fence, bringing the fourth consecutive sellout crowd at Yankee Stadium to its feet.The fans didn't have a chance to sit down, either, before Teixeira went deep to right two pitches later and untied it. It was the sixth time Damon and Teixeira have hit consecutive homers, the most ever for a pair of Yankees in one season.

The crowd began chanting "Sweep! Sweep!" after Nick Swisher added a two-run single off Hideki Okajima later in the inning, which made it an easy night for Mariano Rivera.

They've done it again. The f**king Yankees have done it again. Take a short trip back to August 15, 2006. Alex Gonzalez was the starting shortstop. Wily Mo Pena was still wondering how to hit a curve ball. My God, Matt Clement was our their fifth starter! Despite all that, the Sox were only a mere 1.5 games back of the Yankees before a monumental 5-game showdown at Fenway Park. After five grueling, gut-wrenching days the Yankees left town with a 6.5 game lead. The Sox were never the same. The offense was hampered by injuries. The pitching staff fell apart. They missed the playoffs AND finished by Canadia's finest, the Blue Jays.

Well after the late-inning heroics by Johnny Damon and Mark Teixiera tonight, the 2009 season is looking very similar to the season in 2006. This series was absolutely abominable. The Red Sox offense apparently never left Tampa. In the series Red Sox hitters were 3-for-38 with runners in scoring position (they had 21 opportunities alone in game one and let Joba work out of jam after jam) and went a remarkable 30 innings without touching home plate. The bullpen was worked more than Malaysian sweat shop baby, pitching 15.1 innings while giving up 14 runs in the process.

The Red Sox have now fallen to 0-9 against winning teams since the All-Star break. The Victor Martinez trade hasn't provided the spark that Theo has created in past trading deadlines. If the Red Sox have any fight left in them, now is the time to show it. The rest of August is make or break for the season, with series against the Tigers, White Sox, and a 3-game stint against the Yankees at Fenway Park.

Terry and company have the next seven games to get themselves back on track, but it's not going to be easy with a starting rotation that features two aces and three number 5 guys. And this not scoring with runners in scoring position shit needs to end too. I can't tell you how many times I saw guys make first-pitch outs with runners on base. Take a pitch or two. They have to get back to working these starting pitchers and stretching out their bullpen.

Whatever they do, the Sox need to do it at home tomorrow against Detroit. I'm not sure how much longer I can have this sour taste in my mouth. I don't want to have to deal with the nauseating Yankee propaganda for any longer than I have to.

If I can find any solace from this weekend it's that I could watch these four games without the constant bullshit spewing from New York Mike's mouth. Mike spent the weekend in Atlantic City for a wedding and actually passed up tickets to the 15-inning instant classic on Friday. The things you do for your girlfriend....But sure enough in the bottom of the ninth inning with Mariano Rivera on the mound (New York Mike's favorite player post the A-Roid scandal) I hear a knock on my door. "How about them f**king Yankees? F**k the Red Sox!"

Yup. That pretty much sums up the weekend.

Blackhawks F Kane arrested for robbing cab driver

Yahoo! Sports.com- Chicago Blackhawks star Patrick Kane was charged with attacking a cab driver in his hometown Sunday, a beating that police said was triggered when the driver did not have 20 cents in change to give the player and his cousin. Buffalo police said the 20-year-old Kane and his 21-year-old cousin, James Kane, had apparently caught a cab from the city’s downtown nightclub district at about 4 a.m.

The cab driver suffered cuts to his face and his glasses were damaged, police spokesman Michael DeGeorge said. Both men were charged with felony robbery and misdemeanor counts of theft of services and criminal mischief. Patrick Kane pleaded not guilty in City Court on Sunday, WIVB-TV reported. It was not immediately clear when James Kane will appear in court. The driver said he was punched and hit by both men because he did not have 20 cents in change to give them, according to the police report.

He said at the time he was happy to have time “to hang out back home in Buffalo.”

The driver didn't have his change and -God damnit-he deserved that beating! We're in a recession here, people. I'm not sure if you knew that, but every dime adds up. And I'll be damned if I'm going to get conned out of two dimes. Eight more of those bad boys and Kane could have gotten a 4-piece nugget to satisfy his drunken munchies.

Look, Kane obviously had to have been wasted to pull a stunt like. He's a new, young star in his hometown out for a night with his buddies and probably had one too many Pabsts. But the timing of this embarrassing moment is quite ironic; coming just two days after taking part in a ceremony with Buffalo Mayor, Byron W. Brown, to announce funding for a new skating rink. Mayor Brown even went out on a thing limb calling Kane a "hometown hero". How many cabbies has newly retired Jeremy Roenick hit in the streets of Boston? While I'm thinking of it, how many bum fights has Mario Lemieux been apart of? Maybe Mayor Brown should wait until Kane grows up a bit before anointing him a "hometown hero".

Big Papi Breaks Silence After Yankees Break Sox in 15

ESPN.com- David Ortiz believes then-legal supplements and vitamins likely caused him to land on a 2003 list of alleged drug users seized by the federal government, and Major League Baseball and the players' association said some of the players on the list never tested positive for performance-enhancing substances.

MLB said in a statement Saturday that 96 urine samples, at most, tested positive in the 2003 survey -- and the players' association said 13 of those were in dispute.

The government seized the samples and records of 104 players from baseball's drug-testing companies in 2004 as part of the BALCO investigation into Barry Bonds and others. The list of players said to have tested positive, attached to a grand jury subpoena, is part of a five-year legal fight, with the union trying to force the government to return what federal agents took during raids.

"I definitely was a little bit careless back in those days when I was buying supplements and vitamins over the counter -- legal supplements, legal vitamins over the counter -- but I never buy steroids or use steroids," Ortiz said during a news conference that began about 3½ hours before his Boston Red Sox played the New York Yankees.

"I never thought that buying supplements and vitamins, it was going to hurt anybody's feelings."

I don't know about anyone else, but does something smell kinda fishy here? Where was the MLBPA's defense for Alex Rodriguez or Sammy Sosa? Because from what I saw today, Ortiz used the same "I've made some mistakes in my past" act as everyone prior to him. And at this point, I don't believe anything these athletes say. In this day and age we might be able to get every angle of access to an athlete, but we never know what they do behind closed doors. Everything Michael Weiner had prepared for the press conference was completely plausible.

So at the end of the day Ortiz apologized for making mistakes in his past but, denied using or ever buying steroids. He effectively turned himself into a walking contradiction. Amazing.

Going from bad to worse...Alex Rodriguez was hero in last night's epic 15-inning duel at the stadium. Nothing like October baseball in August to really get you jacked up. Despite the loss, the game totally lived up to the bill of a heavyweight bout. Two friends and former teammates, now leading their teams in the biggest rivalry in sports, face off under the bright lights and brutal scrutiny of New York City. That shit is right out of a movie! But Beckett and Burnett did not disappoint as they both masterfully carved through their opposing lineups.

But the outcome was hardly one of Hollywood story-book endings. The Evil Empire came out victorious behind the prodigal son of the Dark Side, Alex Rodriguez.

A depleted pitching staff, anemic offense, surging Yankees, lying heroes, repressed memories of the 2006 Boston Massacre returning. I think we all could use a little pick me up from Brazilian bombshell, Adriana Lima. You're welcome.

Epstein, Sox Give Smoltz an Assigment

ESPN.com- John Smoltz may have thrown the last pitch of his storied career.

The Boston Red Sox cut the struggling Smoltz on Friday, a day after the New York Yankees sent the 42-year-old righty to yet another early exit.

Smoltz is taking some time to mull his options -- and one option is returning to the minors for Boston, in an effort to transition into a relief role, ESPN baseball analyst Eduardo Perez reports.

Smoltz, 42, met with Red Sox GM Theo Epstein. His base salary is $5.5 million, and on top of that, according to the terms of his contract, Smoltz was receiving about $35,000 for every day he's on the roster. The Red Sox have the option of passing Smoltz through waivers and assuming he won't get claimed. He could conceivably be called up late to pitch out of the Boston bullpen. (for full story go here: http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=4384410)

What's the assignment Theo gave him? Pack up your shit. Grab your cane. Move to Florida and reap the benefits of your AARP card. I'm sorry but this has been long over due. The guy just doesn't have it anymore. Smoltz and the Red Sox claim that he still has it mentally, but the transfer physically just isn't the same.

Well he can pitch a perfect game in his mind for some other team because he hasn't been pulling his weight since he's been called up. The only start that resembled even a glimmer of the John Smoltz of the '90s was a rain-out game against the Triple-A Orioles.

The Red Sox are in the middle of 20-game stretch that features some of the top teams in the AL (2-Tampa, 7-New York, 4-Detroit, 3-Texas, 4-Chicago). They need all the help they can get. With Matsuzaka still waiting to come off his 3-month period, Clay Buchholz searching for his balls, and Brad Penny thriving in the world of mediocrity our once hearty pitching staff is looking rather emaciated.

A suggestion? Bring up stud pitching prospect Michael Bowden. C'mon we didn't get Halladay, and no one else is stepping up. Why not hand the ball over to a young gun, where it is a little harder to get scouting information for opposing hitters? How many times have the professional hitters in the Red Sox lineup been fooled by young pitching? Some of the pitchers haven't even been good! Stick the kid out there and let him earn his licks. Hell, it can't be too hard to match Buchholz's numbers.

And as far as Smoltz goes: Hey, it was a good try. Theo signed him knowing he was going to be a project, and got a former Cy Young winner and a pitcher with the most postseason wins for next to nothing. There's been a slew of pitchers to change teams at the twilight of their careers and not produce. He just can't perform at a level that is expected out of the fans of the Nation. But who knows, maybe he has a future in the 8th inning...

The Fall of the Greatest Right-Handed Hitter of My Generation

After a heated debate with my roommate and New York counterpart,let's cal him New York Mike, I've come to a conclusion. Despite the sorrow of seeing such a likable guy such as Ortiz dragged down by PEDs, Manny Ramirez testing positive twice in a span of 6 years is insulting. Ramirez, a sure-fire first ballot Hall-of-Famer, was suspended 50 games earlier this season for PEDs and now this. Yes, we already knew he was using before the New York Times broke the story, but does that mean he should be getting a free pass?

In the words of New York Mike, "Absolutely, unequivocally no!" He cheated the system before there was a penalty in place, and he cheated the system after it was in place. Who's to say that he wasn't on steroids his entire career? We all fell for his overused act of "Manny being Manny", me especially.

When the story broke of Ramirez's 50-game suspension, I took a path of dejection. I wrote about how I grew up loving Manny and his care-free attitude towards the game. When he was disgruntled off-season after off-season, I was there to defend him. When he was put on waivers in 2003, no one was happier he stayed. Even when he left his bat on his shoulder in New York and faked an injury to get out of Boston I wanted him here. There was no doubting the guy's production, and that's what was most important to me. But when his production is based on sticking a needle in your ass (or however its done) I can't support that. Like a loose girlfriend, fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice, well it looks like I'm the dumb ass.

Manny has made his career out of fooling people. It's believed that he would purposely be "fooled" on pitches hoping to see the same pitch in upcoming at-bats only to crush them. Coincidentally, he was fooling everyone else as well. Of my generation (circa 1987) name me a more feared right-handed hitter than Manny. A-Rod? Perhaps, but also a user. Pujols? Probably. But Manny is arguably the best amongst them all. Look at his career stats:

• .314 batting average
• .411 on-base percentage
• 1.005 OPS (slugging + on-base)
• 539 home runs
• 1,765 runs batted in
• 20 grand slams
• Had more RBI (165) than games played (147) in '99
• 28 postseason home runs
• 74 postseason runs batted in

Why is Manny not the one getting the bad press? David Ortiz is a great player, but a Hall-of-Famer? No. Manny pulled the wool over our eyes with his lackadaisical antics and off-point anecdotes. He lulled us into a realm where we were dreaming of 2-out doubles off the Green Monster and opposite field homers wrapping around Pesky's Pole.

But it was all a dream. An artificially enhanced dream of a man who is only a caricature of his form self. Once able to look beyond his quirky off-the-field antics because of his superior on-the-field production, I cannot anymore.

Manny Ramirez is dead to me. Once my favorite player, Ramirez is now exiled from my heart. He not only betrayed the integrity of the game, but betrayed the trust and support of his fans.
Congratulations Manny, you have officially torn up your path to Cooperstown. It's just too bad it took bull-headed New York Mike to make me realize it.

David Ortiz: Summer of Sin

It's been a sad Summer for the Improper Sportsonian. The self-proclaimed "Masshole" has spent his summer vacation engulfed by obnoxious Yankee fans, delusional Met fans, 20-something Guidos who drink enough Redbulls to kill a baby elephant, and fake girls whose only worry of their summer is how bronze their skin tone is. Yup, that's right. I have chosen to spend my summer on Long Island. I swear I had to be free-basing meth when I thought that would be a good idea.

So what better way to recharge your batteries than to spend a few weeks in the little slice of heaven that is Cape Cod. It's going to be perfect. I'll see some people, go to the beach, watch the Sox, maybe even catch a Cape League game. It'll be just what the doctor ordered. Hell, even the ride back was at a brisk 3-hour, 45-minute pace. This was meant to be.

BUT I, and many sports fans alike, failed to see the dark storm brewing over 1 Yawkey Way. On the eve of baseball's equivalent to Christmas The New York Times played the role of the Grinch, breaking a story that in 2003, Red Sox sluggers Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz highlighted the list of about 100 MLB players who tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs. Wow. That hurt just typing the words. The story was a spring board for journalists, reporters, bloggers, and anyone with an opinion to bash a team that has been charmed this century with winning.

But this news was far more heinous for Ortiz, arguably the league's most marketable figure. Ortiz had painted himself into this larger-than-life teddy bear character, Big Papi. Lifted from the mediocrity in the midwest, Big Papi began bashing baseballs in Boston and did so with a smile on his face. He was loved by teammates, feared by pitchers, and jeered by opposing fans. It was his childlike approach to the game that helped the Red Sox turn the corner from lovable, hard-luck losers to perinneal pennant chasers. And on his way to winning a World Series in 2004, he became an ambassador of the league; being the top vote-getter in all-star games, endless commercials deals, visiting foreign countries to extend the game of baseball to the less fortunate.

This past February he even spoke out against steroid users, saying that all current users should be slapped with a one-year ban. He even went as far as to say that he was caught, he'd bring shame to his family name, team, and the league. Talk about foot-in-mouth syndrome.

Well, it looks like he learned his lesson of speaking too soon. Since the report came out he has yet to speak to reporters about such accusations, only saying "You know me. When I find out all the details you will know as well." I'm sorry David, but do we really know you? The David Ortiz I know didn't cheat his way to the top. The David Ortiz I know would not back down and cower when adversity would stare him in the face (I mean did you see Games 4 and 5?!?). But that's exactly my point. How well do we know our favorite athletes. The answer is we don't. We, as sports fans, fall in love with the athlete on the field, but have no idea who that person is when the jersey is not on. Or what they did to become that good with the jersey on in the first place.

I have been blessed to have not only seen two World Series victories, but to have seen them in my youth. And as a teenager watching these Red Sox teams of the new millennium I drew a lot of parallels to life during the awkward years: being bullied by upper classmen (the Yankees), losing out on a date with the hot cheerleader (Jose Contreras, Giambi, A-Rod, Texiera), and growing out of the pimply-faced nerd and in to a legitimate sex machine that can compete with the rest (2004 & 2007 World Series).

To hear that the most feared 3-4 combination in the league was juicing is hard to swallow. Despite the exaggerated efforts of Yankee fans, this does not and will not diminish the championships in '04 and '07. Granted Ortiz was the ALCS MVP and Ramirez the World Series MVP, there were many other intricate players involved: Dave Roberts and his stealing of second base, Curt Schilling and the folklore of his blood sock, the bullpen-anchored by Keith Foulke- pitching lights out, Johnny Damon's 2-homer performance in Game 7, Derek Lowe winning every clinching game of the postseason. It was truly a team effort and to take that away from those players is a disservice and a dis-justice to them.

Pedro Martinez, who has never seen a microphone he didn't like, had this to say on the topic: "There's no crying in baseball. We won in 2004. That's it. Are you going to tell me that the other guys, who used it on other teams are now whining? They used it, too." He's right, how tainted can the Sox be if everyone was using? If that's the case then everyone is playing on the same jacked-up field.

If this is story has told us anything, it's that no one can be trusted...except for Jose Canseco, of course. He seems to have been right about everything. Anyone who has played before the new steroid regime is suspect.