Best Ejection of all time?

This is why the Mets will never win shit

I mean I try not to hate on the Met's and I occasionally even pull for them, but you would never see Derek Jeter along side Pauly D fist pumping at Karma or knocking dudes out with Ronnie chanting, "that's one punch bro, one punch." Just saying, it would never happen but hey whatever brings in the big bucks for ya David, I can't hate on that either

Wild thing, you make my heart sing

Holy hell in all my years playing and watching baseball I don't think I have ever seen a fight quite like this one. Especially not one that got taken all the way into center field. What is this the California Penal League? Was that Ricky Vaughn on the mound. That pitcher could have given Usain Bolt a race in the 100 with how fast he booked into the outfield from that crazy mofo with the bat. I love how everyone is running in the direction of the outfield and the pussy second baseman can't run off the field in the opposite direction any faster. Good thing it only took over 5 minutes to finally sort this shitshow out though haha.

I might watch Dancing with the Stars for once...

I never have really watched the show, but considering there are a handful of athletes and Erin Andrews to offer this season, I might have to tune in. Just came across some pictures of Andrews getting ready for the show and I can't complain. Since her nude video that hit the net I'm not surprised shes hitting up a show like this to try and make people forget about the incident. She should be thanking whoever the guy was that took that video for the rest of her life. Without that video, no one other than jocks and sports lovers across the country would know her name. Now shes on dancing with the stars? She's the one who interviews the stars. Like I said though, not complaining.

He really loves basketball

Meet Adam, his interests include playing basketball, going to the park and swinging really really high, and lying to his parents about taking his riddlin. How many bowls of coco puffs do this kids parents feed him in the morning. best part of the video is when they ask him what the best part of being there playing basketball is and this kid thinks they are asking him what his favorite park is. I mean come on now, you assholes don't know what Lewis Park is? They have 2 fucking swing sets! Priceless. I would go to Lewis park any day of the week and play Adam 1 on 1.

Guess This Wife

Guess which Cy Young pitcher was dealt a Royal Flush when he married this former Miss Daytona Beach this offseason...

Yankees Lock up New Era Pinstripe Bowl

The New York Yankees not only will host the NHL's Winter Classic next year, but on Christmas Eve-Eve Yankee Stadium will be host to their very own NCAA bowl game. Yes, you heard right. The Yankees will be whoring themselves out yet again. This time for the college game. And too be honest I'm not sure how a sports fan should be feel about this. I mean, I know I really don't care what goes on in the House that C.C. built, but Yankee fans might.

I get why Randy Levine would want to do this--it makes perfect sense from a financial standpoint. "I think no matter what the sport, every kid who grows up wants to play at Yankee Stadium," the Yankee president said Tuesday. I just don't agree with that bullshit. The mystique that comes with playing in the stadium occurs because of the talented baseball players that played there. Not because Notre Dame may have played a game or two there before.

Or for that matter, the 6th-best team from the Big 12 because that's what it's going to be. Mmhm, that's right. The third best team from the Big East will meet the 6th-best school from the Big 12. Hardly the game that should be played on the oh-so-high stage that is Yankee Stadium. If a game is going to be held at one of the most historic stadiums in sports, then I want to see a better game than Baylor vs. UConn.

This is not the first time Yankee Stadium will be holding a post-season college football game. From 1961-1962, the Stadium played host to the Gotham Bowl. The game was not a success financially: the two games that were played both lost money as few fans were willing to sit through the cold December New York weather. Plus, as it was essentially a charity game, it had little financial capital on which it could survive. The first game, scheduled for December 1960, immediately ran into trouble when Oregon State was invited, but no opponent for the Beavers could be found. The game was canceled. The following year, the Gotham Bowl managed to find two teams to play, Baylor and Utah State, for the game at the Polo Grounds. Baylor won, 24-9, in front of a sparse crowd of some 15,000 fans.

I expect this bowl game would draw more than 15,000 fans, but I'm still skeptical. But from the looks of it, the rich are just trying to get richer. On top of selling outrageous ticket prices for their baseball team, to hosting the Winter Classic, to having Notre Dame play a regular season game, now to the Pinstripe Bowl.

I respect Levine's hustle, but I can't respect him whoring out the House that Ruth Built. Somewhere, the heroes like Ruth, Mantle, and Gehrig are turning over in their graves.

I knew it... Britney Griner really is a Dude

From the beginning when I first saw this "chick" I've been saying there is no way that isn't a dude. This just goes to prove my point even further. Here's a clip of Baylor's Brittney Griner Punching another girl straight in the face during a game the other night. I don't care what you say, shes either a dude, a hermaphrodite or just a chick that takes ridiculous amounts of steroids. This can't be a girl from her size and just listen to it's voice in the interview I posted below. Goddamn that's a Huge Bitch. In all my years watching sports I have never seen a punch thrown by a chick in a bball game. Either that's a dudes anger and aggression coming out, or a serious case of roid rage. My guess, It has been shaving it's balls since about the age of 10.





That's quite the large atoms apple for a chick. Just give it up bro, your cover is blown, but the Nets could use some players, all hope isn't lost for you.

Big Ben at it again

MILLEDGEVILLE,

Ga. (CBS/AP) - A 20-year-old student in the college town of Milledgeville, Ga., told a police officer that Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger sexually assaulted her.

This is the second time in the past year that Roethlisberger has been accused of sexual misconduct. The incident allegedly occurred at a local nightclub, and police are investigating.

Roethlisberger already faces a lawsuit filed last July by a woman who says he raped her in 2008 at a Lake Tahoe hotel and casino - an allegation he strongly denies.

Roethlisberger, who is not in custody, has not been criminally charged in either case. The player's agent, Ryan Tollner, said in a statement he was skeptical of the motive of the alleged victim in Milledgeville because of the previous Lake Tahoe allegations.

This latest accusation came in downtown Milledgeville, about 85 miles southeast of Atlanta and about 30 miles south of the lake home the player owns. Roethlisberger, who turned 28 on Tuesday, spent the night out with friends and ended up at Capital City, a nightclub popular with students at Georgia College & State University.





So this is now the second time in less than a year Ben Roethlisberger has been accused of some sort of sexual assault. I know that no charges have been filed yet in this case and who knows this whore could be completely lying as well but doesn't there come a point where enough is enough there Big Ben. If one accusation wasn't enough this year, this time you had to rob the cradle with a 20 year old college student. There's no problem with that, I'm in full support of going after the younger girls, more power to you. But when your a 28 year old Pittsburgh Steelers QB, how is that not the easiest ass you have ever pulled in your life? Oh, wait, that's right someone needs to remind you that your not fucking Tom Brady or Derek Jeter. Your Ben Roethlisberger. I think it's safe to say, the consensus is your not a good looking dude. You have to know your roll as an athlete. Some of the sources that have come out report that the bouncer outside your VIP area said when your friends from your group were out recruiting girls to come drink with you, most of them had no clue who Ben Roethlisberger even was. Sick life bro. Listen I'm not trying to completely hate right now, but I don't care how many rings you have, stooping down to a College bar in some shithole Georgia town, and you still can't pull some pussy without them claiming you sexually assaulted them? That's pathetic. Either stick around the Pittsburgh area where you know every bitch is going to want to blow you, or at some point your going to have to just start settling for the fat chick that no one really wants to go for. If you need to get laid that bad that, sometimes we have to go down that route and settle for the next best thing.

On a completely different note and staying on the football field, this just goes to further prove that the Giants made the right choice trading for Eli on draft day in 2004. Had they not done that, they were considering taking Roethlisberger with their first round pick. Yes, he may have one more ring than Eli, but so far all the off field baggage that has followed Roethlisberger around hasn't been worth the extra ring at least from the eyes of the Giants Fans. Big Ben has just been a nagging headache for the Steelers, and Eli has been the saint the Giants knew they were getting.

The C stands for Cardiac Arrest

It's been a while since I've talked about my beloved C's, so let me start by saying this: I love the Nate Robinson trade. I don't want to toot my horn in back-to-back posts, however, I did call this way back. The guy is a spark plug off the bench. However, I digress. The Celtics are going to put me on cardiac arrest. And I'm a 22-year-old watching them from home. Imagine how the geriatric Celtic players must feel playing? HA! But in all seriousness, the Celtics have been keeping me on the edge of my seat recently. And that is by no means a good thing.

Kevin Garnett was embarrassed on his own court by Andray Blatche, who has been playing well but who is Andray Blatche? Blatche should be calling KG his daddy, not holding him to seven points on 0-7 shooting. Garnett just doesn't have that same pop that he did in '07 and years prior to that. It looks like he doesn't feel comfortable planting, driving, or putting any faith on that injured knee. And that's not the most frustrating part. The fans and he knows he can still play mentally, but physically the guy doesn't look like he could guard Grandpa JoJo at the local YMCA.

Without a healthy KG, our low-post defense is extremely vulnerable. Come playoff time the Celtics will have trouble with the East's elite bigs (i.e. Chris Bosh, Josh Smith, Al Horford, Dwight Howard).

While I may be boasting about my right predictions, I couldn't have been more wrong about the trade Ray Ray cries. Since the All-Star Break/trading deadline, Allen has been nothing short of Jesus Shuttlesworth; knocking down big shots in big spots, carrying the team on his back. With injuries to KG and Paul Pierce, he hasn't had much of a choice. Tonight alone, Allen nailed two huge threes at the end of the game--one to tie the game and the other to put the C's ahead with 27 seconds left.

Yes, the Celtics did at times look sluggish against an in-flux Wizards team, however there is a silver-lining. Just when the Celtics looked like they had given up and lost all momentum, they flipped a switch and won the game when the had to. It's the type of game that may measure how far they go in the playoffs because tonight reeked of a playoff game. The Celtics were talking their usual shit, and this time, they backed it up when their backs were against the wall.

This team may be old and fragile, but they can still bang with the boys. And while the rest of the league may not like the C's competitive swagger, I think it gives them a certain mystique. When the starting unit came back in for the final push, the gums started flapping, elbows were thrown, and eyebrows were lowered. And their swagger was at their highest after a Wizards turnover when KG swipes at the ball that Blatche is holding. Even though KG's attempt at the ball failed, center Kendrick Perkins was there to snatch the ball back. All this happened after the whistle. It's an attitude that more NBA teams should have: This is my house. This is my ball. I am not letting you have this ball in my house.

That's certainly the mind of a champion. The question is, do the Celtics have the body of a champion?

Charles Jenkins: CAA Player of the Year

So maybe Hofstra wasn't a "bubble team" this year. Perhaps the Pride were more like a million-man march than a pack of ferocious lions. And I may or may not have gotten ahead of myself when I stated that Hofstra could make noise this year after that strong showing against then-11th ranked UConn. However, I can't think of single person who has one bad thing to say about Hofstra guard Charles Jenkins.

Jenkins, the junior 6-4 guard, was named the 2010 Colonial Athletic Association player of the year on March 4th. Despite the Pride's seventh place finish in the CAA, Jenkins accolades should come as no surprise; he was voted the preseason POY by the conference's coaches.

Jenkins was one of four Division 1 players to average 20 points (20.8), four rebounds (4.4), and three assists (3.8). His 20.8 points per game led the CAA by nearly 2 points.

I'd hate to say this, but I did call Jenkins having a breakout year. You can thank me whenever your ready to admit it. The guy is a beast; the type of player that NBA GM's have wet dreams over. I mean, he had a team that was on its back gasping for air and single-handedly turned them into the hottest team going in to the CAA tournament (winning nine out of their last 10 games). He is the heart and soul of this Hofstra Pride team. In fact, I might even dare to say he's the heart and soul of Hofstra Pride athletics. (Easy lacrosse-heads.)

Lacking a football program, Jenkins is Hofstra's last hope at sending an athletic to the professional rankings. If 40 grand a year has taught Hofstra student anything it these four words: "There's always next year." Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your outlook) for Jenkins, it will be his last year. My only wish is that Hofstra can reward their budding star with a trip to the NCAA tournament to give Jenkins the national attention he deserves.

The Improp's Back At It Like Crack Addicts!

AC transit guy really is a Crazy Motherfucker... this wasn't his first hoorah...

OK, so I'm sure most of you have seen it by now, and if you haven't here's the video of the AC transit fight where the 67 year old man wearing the light blue shirt beats the shit out of the younger black guy. I'm not going to get into it, that's not the reason for this post but it is one of the best videos I have seen in a while. It's so good, I decided to look into it a little more and see if I could find anything on this crazy old man, and find some shit out I did. This could be the best find I've had in a long time... So it turns out the man wearing the "I AM a Motherfucker" t-shirt's name is Thomas Bruso. But I like to refer to him by one of the nicknames he has coined for himself, "Tom Slick" "Vietnam Tom" or "Epic Beard Man". I shit you not that it was this guy calls himself and yes he is a Vietnam war vet. That black kid stood no chance. Just goes to show you never know who you're fucking with! So I'm reading more into a few articles on this guy and the fight and I struck gold. I had never seen it before but there is a video from back in August of 2009 of a man getting into an altercation with cops at an Oakland A's game. The man is being told to leave the game for being in the wrong seats and apparently he had brought in his own little bottles of liquor (a classic move when attending professional sporting events). The man refuses to leave his seat and the officers start trying to put cuffs on much to the mans dislike. It turns into a scene and the man eventually gets tasered multiple times by the cops cause it takes a few times to get them man down. And guess who that man was? Our good friend Tom Slick from the Ac Bus Transit fight, Take a look at the video it's amazing...



How amazing is that! This guy is an absolute beast and I'm definitely putting him at the top of the list for our people we want to party with most here at the Improp. Like are you serious with that video of him getting tased? it takes them like 4 different tries to take him down. The first one that hits him he just sits there and shrugs his shoulders repeating "it's nothing, it's nothing!" He is a crazy motherfucker that's for sure. As if that wasn't enough, here's another video from after the fight on the bus where Tom is going crazy out on the streets. Turns out he shattered that black dudes nose during their fight on the bus.






Guy is a straight up G in my book. Legendary stuff I can't wait to see what he does next!

Boston's Saving Grace has Returned

Fuck Punxsutawney Phil. The sight of pitchers stretching means Spring--and more importantly--Spring Training is on the way. And not a moment sooner, either. Year in and year out the Red Sox have proved to be the light at the end of the winter's dark tunnel. Maybe not so much in years past, with the recent success of the Celtics and Patriots bridging the gap from October to April, but definitely during the 1990's-early 2000's.

And I might say the Red Sox are needed to do well this year than more than ever. With the Celtics and Patriots both floundering below their expected levels of greatness, Boston fans--like myself--are depending on the Red Sox to pull through and deliver a world championship.

I admit, being a Boston fan who grew up through the 2000's, I am a little jaded and have grown quite accustomed to winning at least one championship in the calendar year. And perhaps I am over-reacting that the city of Boston hasn't won in the past three years. But the fact still remains that the tension is building amongst Boston fans for our beloved baseball team to bring back a title to the Bean.

And as you've heard me say before, winning a World Series is all about starting pitching. The 2010 Boston Red Sox have that great starting pitching to end the drought and let it reign once again. Top to bottom the Sox' staff is flat-out filthy: RHP Josh Beckett, LHP Jon Lester, RHP John Lackey, RHP Tim Wakefield, RHP Clay Buchholz. AND that's not to mention Daisuke Matzusaka, who should have more than enough time to get ready the Japanese way. Listen, I know all of you don't want me to start on a rant as to why I think they're going to be so good. However, I think it might be a good read to check out NESN.com's piece on the topic.

But I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I don't expect the Celtics' to make any loud noise come playoff time, much like the Patriots failed to make even the faintest of squeals in Raven's thrashing of them. And the great thing about pitchers and catchers reporting to Spring Training is the returned feeling of hope. Every team has a chance to be great, like the re-budding of the flowers in the ground. And, with a little bit of luck, the Red Sox' season will bloom into another championship for the City of Champions.

Steve Nash does it all

As if lighting the Olympic flame up in Vancouver wasn't enough this weekend, Steve Nash made it back to Dallas on Saturday night to take down the skills competition too. Nash wasn't done there however, he wants a piece of the Olympics as well. And not playing basketball for his native Canada, he wants a real shot at a gold. Nash wants to take a stab at Hockey in 2010. I mean come on, can you picture it, Jarome Iginla, Sydney Crosby and Steve Nash skating together. He's Canadian so he has to know how to skate. Like he said, he's got the injuries to qualify him and he even admits he's ugly. If you are going to be as ugly as Nash, you better hope your either a world class athlete or really funny and luckily for Nash, he's both. I guess if his second career in Hockey doesn't work out for Nash he can always fall back on his career in acting.




Nash really is the most ridiculous man in the world. What a great play on the Dos Equis commercials.

Want to get laid on Valentine's Day? Don't wear these

Reuters.com- Hundreds of British men are risking a Valentine's Day anticlimax for their partners by stocking up on anatomy-boosting underpants ahead of the most romantic weekend of the year.

British department store group Debenhams said Thursday it had seen a 76 percent surge in online sales of the 18 pounds-a-pair ($28) underwear in the past week.

The pants work by using a lift and hold feature at the front, like a male version of the cleavage-boosting Wonderbra.

"The briefs mean that no man ever needs to feel inadequate again on the most passionate day of the social calendar," said Rob Faucherand, head of men's accessories buying at Debenhams.

"However we can't be held responsible for what happens once the pants come off," he added.

Simply put, this un-fucking-believable. I've heard of guys stuffing their pants with bananas--or other phallic objects--but WonderBriefs? You have got to be kidding me! Men have just hit an all-time low. Look, girls think we're dumb liars as it is, why further the argument with this dumb fucking idea. Of course, leave it to England.

Let me say that I have been on record that I hate padded bras. Since I've known what boobs are, I've hated padded bras. Ask my ex-girlfriends, they'll vouch for me. They'll tell you that I think it's false advertising, or maybe fraud. Or whatever legal term you think fits. It's not fair. If I meet a chick at a bar with big knockers, take her back home, and find them two sizes smaller I'm pissed. I mean let's be serious, I'm doing what I came to do, but don't think for a second that I won't be hate-fucking her. HA!

Maybe now that these "WonderBriefs" are catching on, you ladies will know how it feels to be duped by the padded privates. You take home a guy with a huge bulge in his and pants only to find out he's the size of a safety pin. Tough luck, girl.

Word to the wise, if you have any hopes of gettin' ass on Valentine's Day, do not--I repeat--do not wear these pants or whatever the hell they are. Have some more self respect than that. Especially older men. I don't think there's anything worse than to go on a date with a girl wearing the WonderBriefs and a toupee. Now that's the ultimate example of fraud!

The Improp wants to party with this chick

AssociatedPress.com- A Cedar Rapids woman was accused of arranging her daughter's effort at prostitution. Mary J. Doolin was arrested Wednesday in connection with a Sept. 29 incident in Coralville. Police said Doolin sent her daughter to meet an undercover officer who had contacted her during a prostitution investigation. According to police, Doolin's daughter, 37-year-old Debra Voshell, was later charged with pandering.

Police said Doolin admitted to running a prostitution ring for a number of years and has prior convictions for pimping and prostitution.

Doolin was being held Thursday in the Johnson County Jail in lieu of $10,000 bond.

Alright, first things first here. How in God's name would anyone take her serious as a legitimate pimp? I mean, look at her. She looks like Mickey Rouke after binge-eating at the local Cracker Barrel. Secondly, what is a 37-year-old doing still taking orders from this hippo of a mother? You're a grown-ass woman, make your own decisions.

If they made any serious money it's because the apple fell wwwwaaayyyyy further from the tree. Because if the daughter looks anything like the mother, it's no wonder a pimp can't come up with a $10,000 bond. Doolin probably just finished a TiVo'd season of "Hung" on HBO and thought that if Thomas Jane can do it, why can't I do it too?

But in Doolin's defense, the chick has balls--and I'm not speaking literally either. A real entrepreneur, Doolin saw an opening to make a few quick bucks and went for it. I respect that. Even if it is whoring your own daughter out to the backwood freaks that I assume liter the state of Iowa. Keep your chins up Doolin, even Michael Jordan didn't make his freshman basketball season. Wait until season 2 of "Hung" before attempting this again. Just some friendly advice from your friends at the Improp. :)

Why the Celtics MUST trade Ray Allen

Three years ago when the news broke that the Celtics had traded for the silky-smooth sharpshooter, Ray Allen, I was thrilled. Paul Pierce finally had a real player who could compliment him with a real 3-point shot (sorry 'Toine, but I don't think you would even bet against Ray Ray). THEN, the I started hearing rumors murmuring of Kevin Garnett making it a menage tois in Boston. And right away I knew given the team's veteran experience (to put it lightly) would only give the Celtics a three year window to get a championship.

We all know that they achieved that goal in their first year, but since 2007 it's become clear that three is certainly a crowd. One man has to go. And that one man is Ray Allen.

Look, ideally I wouldn't want to trade any of them, but we don't have a choice here. The Celtics are running on fumes and a gas station is no where in sight. A move has to be made. Not only is Allen an above average talent with big-name status, his contract is more than enticing to other executives which will expire at season's end. Honestly, I'd like to dump KG too because, realistically, a player can't run with a walker. But KG has the vocal, active leadership role; something a soft-spoken Allen does not do well. I think the leadership and ferociousness that KG brings to a team is nearly invaluable and for that reason he stays and Allen goes.

Also if the Celtics were to package a couple other expiring contracts (i.e. Brian Scalabrine, Eddie House, J.R. Giddens, Tony Allen) then they might be able to reload their team, drop some salary, and get that spark that has been missing since early this year. Here have been a few of the trade rumors circling the league surrounding Ray Allen:

• CELTICS GET: F, Antawn Jamison and F, Caron Butler
  WIZARDS GET: SG, Ray Allen, F, Brian Scalabrine and SG, J.R. Giddens
• CELTICS GET: SG, Monta Ellis
  WARRIORS GET: SG, Ray Allen
• CELTICS GET: SG, Kevin Martin
  KINGS GET: SG, Ray Allen
• CELTICS GET: PG, Kirk Heinrich and SF, John Salmons
  BULLS GET: SG, Ray Allen, F, Brian Scalabrine and PG, Eddie House

I wouldn't have a problem with any of those trades, outside of the Kevin Martin one. I was never that big on Martin, and you'd essentially be trading for the same player: a pure scorer who can't do much of anything else.

To the people who ask, "why trade Ray Allen? I love Ray Ray?" I offer this: Allen is down in most of his career number. A career 20-point scorer and 40% from three, Allen is averaging just 16 points while shooting 33% from beyond the arc. Even his free throw percentage is down from last year's near-perfect 95% to 89%. How much longer and he just run around screens all game before his legs fall off? And if you're going to agree that a change must happen, then what else do they do? You have to give up talent to get talent. It's just a way of life.

If you're still not sold on trading Ray Allen, I offer up this knowledgeable nugget to wrap up this article: Even Jesus was shunned by his people, so why can't Jesus Shuttlesworth be shunned too?

Only in NYC: The Terrible Terrier Mugger

Reuters.com- A Brooklyn woman said a mugger stole a doggie coat right off the back of her mild-mannered terrier. Donna McPherson said she tied up Lexie, her 10-year-old Westie, outside a Park Slope supermarket "for two minutes" while she bought milk. She heard a "funny bark." When McPherson went outside, she found the little white dog shivering. His green wool coat, with leather trim and belt, was nowhere in sight.

McPherson said the dog coat was worth $25. She said that, fortunately, Lexie wasn't wearing his pricier Burberry.

The great thing about this story is that it combines two things that are very wrong in this world: 1. dressing up dogs and 2. stealing doggy fashion. I just don't get it. DOGS HAVE FUR FOR A REASON PEOPLE. They don't need a Gucci vest to stay warm in the winter. And they definitely don't need a fucking costume for every little holiday you can think of. They look worse than Ralphie did in the Christmas Story when his aunt got him the pink bunny suit. No one should be forced to look like that. Yes, even dogs too. If we're going to persecute Michael Vick for fighting dogs, then persecute the Daddy's Girls who torture their Shitzu's or Labradoodles. Because in my eyes, I see no difference from the two.

And as for the guy who stole the dog jacket? Get a fucking life. Seriously, bro, stealing a dog's jacket? That has to be a low-point in that guy's life. But perhaps I'm being a tad bit sexist by assuming that it was a guy who stole the jacket? We all know what happens when we assume things. My guess? It had to have been a girl who jacked this jacket. What sane man would steal a jacket from a little shit-terrier? We all know girls and gay men are the only people who dress up their dogs. Only in NYC will you see someone rob a terrier. For all the faults of the city, you have got to respect that.

For the record, I don't even own an article of Burberry clothing. And the fact, that this little terrier-runt has a jacket is just straight up asinine. I wish the person who stole the jacket was Asain, so that they could steal the dog, ship 'em over to China, and make some puppy meat lo mein. YUM :)

Nomar finally making use of his majestic hair

With rich, long locks likes that I knew it wasn't going to be long before we saw Nomar Garciaparra in the broadcast booth. The guy is just too damn good-looking. But for ESPNLosAngeles.com? Obviously, like in baseball, the fans must be a little more laid back in Cali when it comes to dissecting a broadcast. Now I'm sure if he were to broadcast in Boston he would do fine at first. Then after a few shows he'd start whiffing on words, cutting off his co-hosts, and just becoming a cancer on set. Of course I'm just kidding, but I think that would be pretty fucking funny.

However, him stepping in the broadcast booth more-than-likely means he will not be putting on his stir-ups for the 13th season. Former Red Sox infielder and WEEI.com’s Lou Merloni has reported that after talking to Nomar Garciaparra, the former Red Sox shortstop is intent on playing in the majors for the 2010 season if the right situation presents itself. Garciaparra said his calf, which has been hindering the 36-year-old for the past few years, feels better now that has in quite some time.

In all honesty Nomar, stay in the booth. You're hair is far too majestic to be hidden under a plastic batting helmet. Playing out your career has only made me think less of you. Since 2003, every season has been filled with injuries, run-ins with teammates, and steroid rumors. He can't afford the media breaking a story about any one the aforementioned dilemmas. So if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!

Yanks have some decisions to start thinking about

With Spring training only about a week away now, there is some buzz starting to spread around Tampa as players start reporting to camp. Undoubtedly, throughout this entire 2010 campaign there are going to be three questions that are sure to come up on a regular basis. What should the Yankees do about Mo, Jeter, and Girardi. All three are entering the final year on their contracts and so the debates will begin on what to do come season's end. There is the possibility of the players asking for an extension of their existing contracts but it's unlikely that any of the three would suggest or hint at that this early. There's no question, Mo and Jeter are definitely getting older but after the season's they just had, you ask yourself can you really see either of them wearing anything but pinstripes?

Jeter is the captain. I can't see any chance in the universe that he will ever play for another team. He is currently 35 and will be turning 36 in June. Yes, that is getting up there for a professional athlete but after looking at his 2009 resume can you really say he is declining in performance:

2009 GOLD GLOVE AWARD... 

2009 SILVER SLUGGER AWARD...

2009 ROBERTO CLEMENTE AWARD... 

2009 HANK AARON AWARD... 

2009 SPORTS ILLUSTRATED SPORTSMAN OF THE YEAR... 

2009 NY DAILY NEWS NEW YORKER OF THE YEAR... 

2009 TWIB PLAY OF THE YEAR... 

2009 TOPS THE AMERICAN LEAGUE WITH OVER 3.5 MILLION ALL STAR VOTES... 

2009 PASSES LOU GHERIG TO BECOME THE YANKEES ALL TIME HITS LEADER...
2009 BECOMES THE ALL TIME MLB HITS LEADER FOR THE SS POSITION
...
2009 .334 BA, 212 H, 107 R, 18 HR, 66 RBI, 30 SB, .406 OBP...
2009 MOVES INTO 18 PLACE ON THE AMERICAN LEAGUE'S ALL TIME HITS LIST...
2009 MOVES INTO 49 PLACE ON MLB'S ALL TIME HITS LIST... 

2009 PLAYOFFS .344 BA, .432 OBP... 

2009 WORLD SERIES .407 BA, .429 OBP,




There's no question, he just had one of the most productive seasons of his career if not the most productive. Only problem that comes up when talking about Jeter and a new contract, It is very unlikely he is going to take a pay cut. He is going to definitely want a multi-year deal and he will probably be asking for more than the almost 19 million he currently makes a year. If I'm the Yankees, I don't care what he is asking for, you give it to him. He is even more valuable than the 189 million dollar contract you gave him 9 years ago. He has been an integral part of 5 world series teams and he is the poster boy for the word consistency. Some feel he should be making in the ball park of A-rod money. I think the Yankees just need to lock him up basically for the rest of his career. Give him what he wants because without him, the last 15 would have been completely different.



Mariano in some ways is a different case, but again when it comes to performance, you would never be able to tell you were looking at a 40 year old's stats. He is the greatest regular season and post season closer of all time. This season was no different from the rest of his career, he recorded 44 saves in 46 opportunities with a 1.76 era. His post season stats are even more impressive but thats not what's in question. He has proved at 40 that he can still perform, but for how much longer? I don't know if a multi year deal is in the cards with MO. He will be 41 at the start of next season and despite all he has done for the Yankees over the years, I can't see them going with a multi year deal. Like Jeter, Mo isn't going to want to take a pay cut but that could all depend on his performance this season. If he has a good year, I can maybe see a slim chance of a 2 year deal. Mo is a class act and I don't see him making too big of a fuss over a one year deal after this season.

When it comes to Girardi, I'm still up in the air. Obviously they will structure some type of deal to keep him around, the length is what I believe will be the debate on hand. I'm still not sold on Girardi as manager. Yes I do like him personally and I think he was a great Yankee player. I know he just won a World Series this season but no offense to Joe, I might have been able to win a World Series with that much talent. I think that no matter what happens this season Girardi still deserves more time at the controls. If the Yanks don't make the playoffs this year though, last years World Series will be the last thing Yanks fans are going to be thinking about. They are going to be calling for Girardi's head which is going to put Cashman in quite the situation. So as I stated with Mariano, it is going to have a lot to do with the teams performance this season for the Skip. I think they are going to have to win the East too. There are a handful of teams out West that have greatly improved this off season and I think the Wild Card could come out of that division this year.




It's all just going to be talk right now but like I said, its going to be at the front of everyone's minds throughout this entire season. I think extending Mo's contract would be ideal. Girardi is going to want a pay increase but he better focus on getting us to October baseball if he wants to be able to walk the streets of New York after this season. Jeter gets what he wants. If he asks for another 10 contract give it to him. His value to the organization is priceless and you know he's got a solid 5 years still left in him. For now I'm going to bask in the 09 glory for a couple more weeks but as soon as that first pitch of the season is thrown, it's all about defending the title.

The Improp wants to party with these three

Seriously sometimes you just ask yourself, What the fuck is going on here? This is one of those cases. Like I said last week, I'm going to try and find people every week that we here at the Improp want to party with. My hopes are that if we ever make it big, we can send out invitations to all these winners and bring them together for an Improp party. Could you imagine? That would be the biggest shit show ever and I would be all for it. So this week I have come across this three party animals. I don't even really know where to start with this picture. One granny yacking her brains out in the trash can, another looks like she digging in for more and totally ignoring the projectile vomiting occurring inches from her. The guy basically says it all in the look on his face. He looks like he took way to many drugs on the night and he's asking himself, where did I go wrong in life. Instead of analyzing this picture any further, I just decided to translate it Improp style and let you know what they were all thinking at the time of this picture.

Click on the picture to make it more clear

Andy Roddick you lucky bastard

So there are three things that are guaranteed in live, death, taxes, and once a year Sports Illustrated graces us with it's legendary Swimsuit issue. Well my friends, today is that day. this year marks the 47th celebration of the tradition and by the looks of it, SI wasn't playing around this year. The cover features American Andy Roddicks smoking hot companion Brooklyn Decker. What a lucky man, I guess you could say she makes up for the lack of Grand Slams Roddick produces. What's better than some of the hottest girls on the planet in bikini's you ask, the hottest girls on the planet wearing nothing but body paint. This issue has plenty of that as well. This year they chose to feature some of the hottest soccer wives and girlfriends wearing only body paint. Check out the wife of American Clint Dempsey in the article, and then the fiance of English striker Peter Crouch, Abbey Clancey is pictured below. This issue really does have it all and its become about as American as apple pie. Thank you SI...

















See more of the smoking hot Soccer WAG's sporting only body paint and also many other photos of the SI models here at Sports Illustrated.

The Great Quarterback Debate

With Peyton Manning going to his second Super Bowl and winning his NFL-record 4th MVP award, I think it's time to review the great quarterback debate: Is Tom Brady or Peyton Manning the best QB of our era? The answer isn't as clear-cut as it used to be. In my eyes, at least.

If the question were proposed to me circa 2007, the answer would be definitively Tom Brady. A five-time Pro Bowler, Brady enjoyed four trips to the Super Bowl in a short seven years. Add to the mix a regular season MVP in which he set the single-season record for TDs with 50, his 11-4 postseason record, two Super Bowl MVPs and you have a pretty good case for calling him the best.

But it doesn't just stop there. In order to measure greatness in a quarterback, you have to look at the unmeasurable factors: the intangibles. And if intangibles were measurable, Brady's might be the length of the Great Wall of China. Brady was plucked out of anonymity and inserted himself into greatness after the historic lure that is his 2001 playoff debut. The 6th-round pick had sparked a team that grew complacent with mediocrity and they responded by rallying around their young signal-caller. No easy task for a player who was mildly recruited out of high school and had to jockey for the starting job at Michigan with Brian Griese and Drew Henson. I won't even mention the amount of 4th-quarter comebacks that were led on the shoulders of Brady, but needless to say there are many.

And then Tom Brady goes down in the first game of the 2008 season. Fresh off an 18-1 record-setting season, the '08 campaign that was filled with promise was now deflated. And while in 2009 Brady had another great year statisically, those intangibles that was once the length of the Great Wall of China seemed more like the Yellow Brick Road. He was missing receivers, moving slow in and out of the pocket, and taking a lot more hits. The assurance that Brady would complete a critical play or spark a trademarked long Patriot drive just wasn't 100% like it was before. The fire seemed to be missing. He seemed to be more frustrated with his players instead of trying to rejuvenate them for the next series. It feels like Brady has lost his mojo...

...And Peyton Manning is playing the role of Dr. Evil as it appears he stole Brady's mojo. While yes, Manning has always been the prototypical quarterback, he never quite had the success that Brady had. That is, until recently. Since his 2006 title run, Manning has been nothing short of a methodical machine. That same assurance that made me have a full on bromance with Brady, I am currently seeing in Manning. I don't think I have ever seen one single player impose his will and defeat a team, seemingly single-handedly.

Now it might be easy for a bias fan to solely point to the rings on Brady's fingers as enough reason to crown him the best, but I ask you, how many people have won four MVP awards? The answer is Peyton Manning. And for all we know, there may very well be more on the way. I can honestly say that I have grown to love watching Peyton Manning play football. You have to respect how he runs that offense: calling his own plays, making his infamous pre-snap audibles, and making names like Austin Collie and Pierre Garcon recognizable. And while Brady may have the more rings, I might argue that Manning would do just the same if not better if he was in Patriot blue. Manning was a product of a subpar defense. And we all know that defense wins championships.

Obviously I'm torn. There are two roads diverged in a wood and I am Robert Frost. Which one do I choose? Well when faced with life's really tough questions, I ask myself another question: If I had to pick one QB to win me one game, who would it be? Well seeing how we are fresh off a Super Bowl where Manning only had to win one game and he was the reason they lost. I may have a new lust for Manning, but Brady and I will always be bromantically involved. The answer for me was, is, and always will be Tom Brady. Although Manning is not too bad either...

Top Superbowl Commercials

We all know that the commercials make the Superbowl that much better and it's about the only way you can get most girls to watch the big game too. I put together some of my favorites from last night to share with you. As always, Bud Light had awesome commercials but I would have to say Doritos was the overall winner.

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

Guess This Wife...

Okay, okay. Maybe last week's Guess This Wife was a little to harsh, but the correct answer was Elisabetta Gregoraci is Flavio Briatore’s wife. Yeah I don't know who the fuck they are, but damn is she a looker. So today, I'll through you guys a softball. Can you guess which New York puck handler gets to lay with Lizzy McGuire?

Hofstra Football: Program of Champions?

The Saints winning the Super Bowl is a story I've been quietly hoping to happen since December 3rd. They deserved to win if for nothing else the horrific tragedies the city of New Orleans has persevered through. However, as the Saints knelt on the ball in their own end of the field and watched as time expired another sort of blessing happened: Hofstra University--the same school which canceled its football program at season's end--now has back-to-back Super Bowl champions.

Willie Colon was a 4th-round draft selection in the 2006 draft by the Pittsburgh Steelers. Two years later, Colon was the starting right guard on the Super Bowl champion Steelers. Marques Colston was plucked out of the 7th-round in that very same '06 draft by the New Orleans Saints. He has emerged to become a legitimate number 1 receiver and now also has a ring to compare to his college teammate's.

Admittedly, I was not up-in-arms about the cancellation of Hofstra football for the mere fact that I never saw a game that I actually remember who played and the team was mediocre at best. And while students protested with "Fuck Rabinowitz" shirts and made Facebook groups petitioning for the return of the team, I sat on my ass and didn't really give it two thoughts. After all, the program was losing $4 million a year--it only made sense to cut the team. Like in any other world, if you're not meeting expectations and you begin costing the company money, you're going to be fired. You don't have to be Donald Trump to know that.

However, last night's game got me thinking: If a team can be so bad on one level and put out such a poor product, then how can they produce two Super Bowl champions in back-to-back years? My answer would be that these coaches were better at teaching these kids the intangibles: the drive, the strive, the need to be the best. While head coach Dave Cohen and his staff may not have been the best at getting their players' to the execute x's and o's, I believe he was able to turn the players who had the talent level and skill set into motivated leaders. The players who came to Hofstra had no guarantees at a shot at the next level, they never had that privilege. I believe Cohen and his staff instilled that into his teams and made sure that if they did want to go to that next level it would be through hard work. That is something I think was overlooked by the coverage of Hofstra's cancellation.

To the reader's who are not a part of Hofstra you may not understand how much this is a blessing, especially those of you who attend big-time universities. Hofstra athletics is hardly anything worth bragging about. In fact, students are still steaming over George Mason's Final Four run in 2006--knowing damn well that it should've been Hofstra in the tournament and not them. And while I believe the majority of the school didn't care about the football team, the news of the cancellation caused a huge ripple effect among the community and the uproar was contagious. Football is an important part of American culture in general and to hear that it has been taken away from a small community--rather abruptly--was a shock.

It is nothing short of a blessing that a mere two months after the cancellation of the football program, there is a Hofstra alum with some Super Bowl bling on his finger. And it is a slightly ironic that there are now two Hofstra alums with Super Bowl bling in consecutive years.

So I raise my glass to you, Willie and Marques, for restoring some of the faith that was lost in the Hofstra football program. Maybe if Wayne Cherbet would come out of retirement we could go for three consecutive years.

Superbowl Drinking games, As if you needed another reason to drink

So I know this is late and most of you have probably already started drinking, and I hope your hammered to be honest, but here's just a few more reasons to get you smashed on this great holiday. Here's some Team geared drinking games so whatever team you are pulling for, follow their team drinking rules and by the end, hopefully you can't even get up to celebrate the win. I found the Saints one online and I made up the Colts drinking game.

Saints Drinking Game





























1. Every time they mention hurricane Katrina, drink 1.
2. If they show pictures of the City of New Orleans right after Katrina, drink 1.
3. Every time they say how much the Saints mean to the City of New Orleans, drink 1.
4. Every time the words "tragedy", "flood", or "devastation" are used, drink 1.
5. Every time they talk about how good Reggie Bush was in college, drink 3.
6. If they show Kim Kardashian in the stands, drink 5.
7. Every time they show a picture of Reggie Bush with a bat or say "bringing the wood" drink for 5 seconds.
8. Every time Reggie Bush gets negative yardage trying to run around in the backfield a bunch and outrun the defense, drink 1 and turn to the person next to you and say "I told you Vince Young should have won the Heisman."


Colts Drinking Game...



















1. Every time there is a reference to Dwight Freeney's ankle drink 1.
2. Every time there is a reference to how valuable Peyton Manning is to the team, drink 1.
3. Every time the Colts run the ball, drink 1.
4. Every time there is a commercial that features any Colts players drink 2.
5. If they show Eli Manning or Archie Manning on TV drink 3.
6. If Peyton Manning throws an interception drink 5.
7. Any time they show Peyton Manning on the sideline when the Colts aren't on Offense, Drink 5.
8. Jets fans, Whenever the Colts score any points drink the rest of your beer (it's Superbowl you better be drinking beer), turn to the person next to you and say, " We were up at Halftime, if only".

Here's my pick too:

Saints +5 parlayed with the over 57

Enjoy the game everyone...

Guess This Wife...

Oh Captain! My Captain! Can you guess which F1 driver revs up her engines in the bedroom?

Lane Kiffin: Cradle Robber

PostChronicle.com- USC football coach Lane Kiffin has struck a deal with a quarterback who isn't old enough to sign a contract.

Coach Lane Kiffin was thorooughly impressed by the skills of 13-year-old quarterback David Sills - so they made a verbal deal that Sills will sign with the Trojans when he is old enough.

Sills, a six-foot tall quarterback from Bear, Del., verbally committed to the USC Trojans at the request of USC coach Lane Kiffin even though he's only 13 years of age.

Personal coach Steve Clarkson says of Sills: "His skill set is off the charts. I've never seen anyone at his age do what he's been able to do."

This kid is unbelievable. You have check out the video below. But what is even more unbelievable is, at the blooming age of 13, this guy is getting a full scholarship to one of the top universities in the country. All I have to say is, this kid better thank God that he can hurl a pigskin, otherwise he'd be one freakish outcast. I mean, the kid is six feet and only 13-years-old. SIX FEET?!?

Props to my boy, Lane, for scooping this kid up before anyone else got to him. Waaayyy before anyone could get to him. But the best part of this story? It has to be the video soundtrack. I'm telling you check it out. It makes this pimply-faced fuck look like some sort of Godsend. Let's tone it down a little bit here, for all we know this kid's balls could never drop and turn out to be a transvestite...Hey, it could happen.

This is why I love Bud Light

Now chances are we probably wont be seeing this commercial during the Superbowl for various reasons. It is still one of the better bud light commercials I have seen in a long time. One of the only things I love better than a cold Bud Light is their hilarious commercials. I definitely want to work at this company too, a clothes drive? That's genius, I'd wear at least like 5 extra layers to work just to me help make it through the day. It's the drinkability baby!

It's about that time for an Improp prediction

It's the Friday before the Super Bowl and I think it's about time to unveil who Mr. Wes (yes, I just did and quite often refer to myself as Mr. Wes) thinks is going to win the Super Bowl. While my predictions during the playoffs were nothing short of abysmal, I think I figured it out. I think I found out the key to winning a butt-load of bucks this Sunday. You want to know my secret? Well, I don't think it's much of a secret, but it's never betting against Peyton Manning.

Which is pretty ironic if you think about it. Remember when Peyton Manning would've sold his left nut for a win in the playoffs? It's funny how things can turn around. But one might say, Peyton just needed a defense to win in the playoffs. Well, now he has one. For the last 2-3 years the Colts have been the best team to bet on, Peyton being a large part of that--if not the majority. And this run Peyton has been on is very similar to those championship years Brady and Patriots had. I know I talk about Tom Brady a lot on here--but bromance aside--it's because the guy is a football legend, like him or not. Those two players and their careers will be forever intertwined. And now it's Peyton's turn to get another ring.

Don't get me wrong here. The Saints are no slouch. If wrath of Peyton's offensive prowess didn't intimidate me so much, I might take the Saints to win. They have an opportunistic defense that has a nose for the ball, a strong 3-headed monster in the backfield, with a full-fledged stars at quarterback and receivers. Not to mention the sentimental story of the city rallying around their football team after Hurricane Katrina and bringing home a Super Bowl title. AND how cool would it be for Hofstra alum, Marques Colston, raising the Lombardi Trophy just months after the school cut the football program?

My head tells me to pick the Colts and my heart is telling me to root for the Saints. Hopefully a cooler head prevails over a burning heart. I'm taking the Colts (-6) and parlaying it with the under of the 56.5 point total. That's a pretty high total considering the Super Bowl has been relatively low-scoring (the last high-scoring game was in 2003 with the Patriots and Panthers tallying 61 points).

But if all this shit just flew over your head, don't worry. There are plenty of other things to bet on to make the game interesting for even the ditsiest of blondes. Check out what THE EMPIRE has to offer.