AC transit guy really is a Crazy Motherfucker... this wasn't his first hoorah...

OK, so I'm sure most of you have seen it by now, and if you haven't here's the video of the AC transit fight where the 67 year old man wearing the light blue shirt beats the shit out of the younger black guy. I'm not going to get into it, that's not the reason for this post but it is one of the best videos I have seen in a while. It's so good, I decided to look into it a little more and see if I could find anything on this crazy old man, and find some shit out I did. This could be the best find I've had in a long time... So it turns out the man wearing the "I AM a Motherfucker" t-shirt's name is Thomas Bruso. But I like to refer to him by one of the nicknames he has coined for himself, "Tom Slick" "Vietnam Tom" or "Epic Beard Man". I shit you not that it was this guy calls himself and yes he is a Vietnam war vet. That black kid stood no chance. Just goes to show you never know who you're fucking with! So I'm reading more into a few articles on this guy and the fight and I struck gold. I had never seen it before but there is a video from back in August of 2009 of a man getting into an altercation with cops at an Oakland A's game. The man is being told to leave the game for being in the wrong seats and apparently he had brought in his own little bottles of liquor (a classic move when attending professional sporting events). The man refuses to leave his seat and the officers start trying to put cuffs on much to the mans dislike. It turns into a scene and the man eventually gets tasered multiple times by the cops cause it takes a few times to get them man down. And guess who that man was? Our good friend Tom Slick from the Ac Bus Transit fight, Take a look at the video it's amazing...



How amazing is that! This guy is an absolute beast and I'm definitely putting him at the top of the list for our people we want to party with most here at the Improp. Like are you serious with that video of him getting tased? it takes them like 4 different tries to take him down. The first one that hits him he just sits there and shrugs his shoulders repeating "it's nothing, it's nothing!" He is a crazy motherfucker that's for sure. As if that wasn't enough, here's another video from after the fight on the bus where Tom is going crazy out on the streets. Turns out he shattered that black dudes nose during their fight on the bus.






Guy is a straight up G in my book. Legendary stuff I can't wait to see what he does next!

Boston's Saving Grace has Returned

Fuck Punxsutawney Phil. The sight of pitchers stretching means Spring--and more importantly--Spring Training is on the way. And not a moment sooner, either. Year in and year out the Red Sox have proved to be the light at the end of the winter's dark tunnel. Maybe not so much in years past, with the recent success of the Celtics and Patriots bridging the gap from October to April, but definitely during the 1990's-early 2000's.

And I might say the Red Sox are needed to do well this year than more than ever. With the Celtics and Patriots both floundering below their expected levels of greatness, Boston fans--like myself--are depending on the Red Sox to pull through and deliver a world championship.

I admit, being a Boston fan who grew up through the 2000's, I am a little jaded and have grown quite accustomed to winning at least one championship in the calendar year. And perhaps I am over-reacting that the city of Boston hasn't won in the past three years. But the fact still remains that the tension is building amongst Boston fans for our beloved baseball team to bring back a title to the Bean.

And as you've heard me say before, winning a World Series is all about starting pitching. The 2010 Boston Red Sox have that great starting pitching to end the drought and let it reign once again. Top to bottom the Sox' staff is flat-out filthy: RHP Josh Beckett, LHP Jon Lester, RHP John Lackey, RHP Tim Wakefield, RHP Clay Buchholz. AND that's not to mention Daisuke Matzusaka, who should have more than enough time to get ready the Japanese way. Listen, I know all of you don't want me to start on a rant as to why I think they're going to be so good. However, I think it might be a good read to check out NESN.com's piece on the topic.

But I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I don't expect the Celtics' to make any loud noise come playoff time, much like the Patriots failed to make even the faintest of squeals in Raven's thrashing of them. And the great thing about pitchers and catchers reporting to Spring Training is the returned feeling of hope. Every team has a chance to be great, like the re-budding of the flowers in the ground. And, with a little bit of luck, the Red Sox' season will bloom into another championship for the City of Champions.

Steve Nash does it all

As if lighting the Olympic flame up in Vancouver wasn't enough this weekend, Steve Nash made it back to Dallas on Saturday night to take down the skills competition too. Nash wasn't done there however, he wants a piece of the Olympics as well. And not playing basketball for his native Canada, he wants a real shot at a gold. Nash wants to take a stab at Hockey in 2010. I mean come on, can you picture it, Jarome Iginla, Sydney Crosby and Steve Nash skating together. He's Canadian so he has to know how to skate. Like he said, he's got the injuries to qualify him and he even admits he's ugly. If you are going to be as ugly as Nash, you better hope your either a world class athlete or really funny and luckily for Nash, he's both. I guess if his second career in Hockey doesn't work out for Nash he can always fall back on his career in acting.




Nash really is the most ridiculous man in the world. What a great play on the Dos Equis commercials.

Want to get laid on Valentine's Day? Don't wear these

Reuters.com- Hundreds of British men are risking a Valentine's Day anticlimax for their partners by stocking up on anatomy-boosting underpants ahead of the most romantic weekend of the year.

British department store group Debenhams said Thursday it had seen a 76 percent surge in online sales of the 18 pounds-a-pair ($28) underwear in the past week.

The pants work by using a lift and hold feature at the front, like a male version of the cleavage-boosting Wonderbra.

"The briefs mean that no man ever needs to feel inadequate again on the most passionate day of the social calendar," said Rob Faucherand, head of men's accessories buying at Debenhams.

"However we can't be held responsible for what happens once the pants come off," he added.

Simply put, this un-fucking-believable. I've heard of guys stuffing their pants with bananas--or other phallic objects--but WonderBriefs? You have got to be kidding me! Men have just hit an all-time low. Look, girls think we're dumb liars as it is, why further the argument with this dumb fucking idea. Of course, leave it to England.

Let me say that I have been on record that I hate padded bras. Since I've known what boobs are, I've hated padded bras. Ask my ex-girlfriends, they'll vouch for me. They'll tell you that I think it's false advertising, or maybe fraud. Or whatever legal term you think fits. It's not fair. If I meet a chick at a bar with big knockers, take her back home, and find them two sizes smaller I'm pissed. I mean let's be serious, I'm doing what I came to do, but don't think for a second that I won't be hate-fucking her. HA!

Maybe now that these "WonderBriefs" are catching on, you ladies will know how it feels to be duped by the padded privates. You take home a guy with a huge bulge in his and pants only to find out he's the size of a safety pin. Tough luck, girl.

Word to the wise, if you have any hopes of gettin' ass on Valentine's Day, do not--I repeat--do not wear these pants or whatever the hell they are. Have some more self respect than that. Especially older men. I don't think there's anything worse than to go on a date with a girl wearing the WonderBriefs and a toupee. Now that's the ultimate example of fraud!

The Improp wants to party with this chick

AssociatedPress.com- A Cedar Rapids woman was accused of arranging her daughter's effort at prostitution. Mary J. Doolin was arrested Wednesday in connection with a Sept. 29 incident in Coralville. Police said Doolin sent her daughter to meet an undercover officer who had contacted her during a prostitution investigation. According to police, Doolin's daughter, 37-year-old Debra Voshell, was later charged with pandering.

Police said Doolin admitted to running a prostitution ring for a number of years and has prior convictions for pimping and prostitution.

Doolin was being held Thursday in the Johnson County Jail in lieu of $10,000 bond.

Alright, first things first here. How in God's name would anyone take her serious as a legitimate pimp? I mean, look at her. She looks like Mickey Rouke after binge-eating at the local Cracker Barrel. Secondly, what is a 37-year-old doing still taking orders from this hippo of a mother? You're a grown-ass woman, make your own decisions.

If they made any serious money it's because the apple fell wwwwaaayyyyy further from the tree. Because if the daughter looks anything like the mother, it's no wonder a pimp can't come up with a $10,000 bond. Doolin probably just finished a TiVo'd season of "Hung" on HBO and thought that if Thomas Jane can do it, why can't I do it too?

But in Doolin's defense, the chick has balls--and I'm not speaking literally either. A real entrepreneur, Doolin saw an opening to make a few quick bucks and went for it. I respect that. Even if it is whoring your own daughter out to the backwood freaks that I assume liter the state of Iowa. Keep your chins up Doolin, even Michael Jordan didn't make his freshman basketball season. Wait until season 2 of "Hung" before attempting this again. Just some friendly advice from your friends at the Improp. :)

Why the Celtics MUST trade Ray Allen

Three years ago when the news broke that the Celtics had traded for the silky-smooth sharpshooter, Ray Allen, I was thrilled. Paul Pierce finally had a real player who could compliment him with a real 3-point shot (sorry 'Toine, but I don't think you would even bet against Ray Ray). THEN, the I started hearing rumors murmuring of Kevin Garnett making it a menage tois in Boston. And right away I knew given the team's veteran experience (to put it lightly) would only give the Celtics a three year window to get a championship.

We all know that they achieved that goal in their first year, but since 2007 it's become clear that three is certainly a crowd. One man has to go. And that one man is Ray Allen.

Look, ideally I wouldn't want to trade any of them, but we don't have a choice here. The Celtics are running on fumes and a gas station is no where in sight. A move has to be made. Not only is Allen an above average talent with big-name status, his contract is more than enticing to other executives which will expire at season's end. Honestly, I'd like to dump KG too because, realistically, a player can't run with a walker. But KG has the vocal, active leadership role; something a soft-spoken Allen does not do well. I think the leadership and ferociousness that KG brings to a team is nearly invaluable and for that reason he stays and Allen goes.

Also if the Celtics were to package a couple other expiring contracts (i.e. Brian Scalabrine, Eddie House, J.R. Giddens, Tony Allen) then they might be able to reload their team, drop some salary, and get that spark that has been missing since early this year. Here have been a few of the trade rumors circling the league surrounding Ray Allen:

• CELTICS GET: F, Antawn Jamison and F, Caron Butler
  WIZARDS GET: SG, Ray Allen, F, Brian Scalabrine and SG, J.R. Giddens
• CELTICS GET: SG, Monta Ellis
  WARRIORS GET: SG, Ray Allen
• CELTICS GET: SG, Kevin Martin
  KINGS GET: SG, Ray Allen
• CELTICS GET: PG, Kirk Heinrich and SF, John Salmons
  BULLS GET: SG, Ray Allen, F, Brian Scalabrine and PG, Eddie House

I wouldn't have a problem with any of those trades, outside of the Kevin Martin one. I was never that big on Martin, and you'd essentially be trading for the same player: a pure scorer who can't do much of anything else.

To the people who ask, "why trade Ray Allen? I love Ray Ray?" I offer this: Allen is down in most of his career number. A career 20-point scorer and 40% from three, Allen is averaging just 16 points while shooting 33% from beyond the arc. Even his free throw percentage is down from last year's near-perfect 95% to 89%. How much longer and he just run around screens all game before his legs fall off? And if you're going to agree that a change must happen, then what else do they do? You have to give up talent to get talent. It's just a way of life.

If you're still not sold on trading Ray Allen, I offer up this knowledgeable nugget to wrap up this article: Even Jesus was shunned by his people, so why can't Jesus Shuttlesworth be shunned too?

Only in NYC: The Terrible Terrier Mugger

Reuters.com- A Brooklyn woman said a mugger stole a doggie coat right off the back of her mild-mannered terrier. Donna McPherson said she tied up Lexie, her 10-year-old Westie, outside a Park Slope supermarket "for two minutes" while she bought milk. She heard a "funny bark." When McPherson went outside, she found the little white dog shivering. His green wool coat, with leather trim and belt, was nowhere in sight.

McPherson said the dog coat was worth $25. She said that, fortunately, Lexie wasn't wearing his pricier Burberry.

The great thing about this story is that it combines two things that are very wrong in this world: 1. dressing up dogs and 2. stealing doggy fashion. I just don't get it. DOGS HAVE FUR FOR A REASON PEOPLE. They don't need a Gucci vest to stay warm in the winter. And they definitely don't need a fucking costume for every little holiday you can think of. They look worse than Ralphie did in the Christmas Story when his aunt got him the pink bunny suit. No one should be forced to look like that. Yes, even dogs too. If we're going to persecute Michael Vick for fighting dogs, then persecute the Daddy's Girls who torture their Shitzu's or Labradoodles. Because in my eyes, I see no difference from the two.

And as for the guy who stole the dog jacket? Get a fucking life. Seriously, bro, stealing a dog's jacket? That has to be a low-point in that guy's life. But perhaps I'm being a tad bit sexist by assuming that it was a guy who stole the jacket? We all know what happens when we assume things. My guess? It had to have been a girl who jacked this jacket. What sane man would steal a jacket from a little shit-terrier? We all know girls and gay men are the only people who dress up their dogs. Only in NYC will you see someone rob a terrier. For all the faults of the city, you have got to respect that.

For the record, I don't even own an article of Burberry clothing. And the fact, that this little terrier-runt has a jacket is just straight up asinine. I wish the person who stole the jacket was Asain, so that they could steal the dog, ship 'em over to China, and make some puppy meat lo mein. YUM :)

Nomar finally making use of his majestic hair

With rich, long locks likes that I knew it wasn't going to be long before we saw Nomar Garciaparra in the broadcast booth. The guy is just too damn good-looking. But for ESPNLosAngeles.com? Obviously, like in baseball, the fans must be a little more laid back in Cali when it comes to dissecting a broadcast. Now I'm sure if he were to broadcast in Boston he would do fine at first. Then after a few shows he'd start whiffing on words, cutting off his co-hosts, and just becoming a cancer on set. Of course I'm just kidding, but I think that would be pretty fucking funny.

However, him stepping in the broadcast booth more-than-likely means he will not be putting on his stir-ups for the 13th season. Former Red Sox infielder and WEEI.com’s Lou Merloni has reported that after talking to Nomar Garciaparra, the former Red Sox shortstop is intent on playing in the majors for the 2010 season if the right situation presents itself. Garciaparra said his calf, which has been hindering the 36-year-old for the past few years, feels better now that has in quite some time.

In all honesty Nomar, stay in the booth. You're hair is far too majestic to be hidden under a plastic batting helmet. Playing out your career has only made me think less of you. Since 2003, every season has been filled with injuries, run-ins with teammates, and steroid rumors. He can't afford the media breaking a story about any one the aforementioned dilemmas. So if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!

Yanks have some decisions to start thinking about

With Spring training only about a week away now, there is some buzz starting to spread around Tampa as players start reporting to camp. Undoubtedly, throughout this entire 2010 campaign there are going to be three questions that are sure to come up on a regular basis. What should the Yankees do about Mo, Jeter, and Girardi. All three are entering the final year on their contracts and so the debates will begin on what to do come season's end. There is the possibility of the players asking for an extension of their existing contracts but it's unlikely that any of the three would suggest or hint at that this early. There's no question, Mo and Jeter are definitely getting older but after the season's they just had, you ask yourself can you really see either of them wearing anything but pinstripes?

Jeter is the captain. I can't see any chance in the universe that he will ever play for another team. He is currently 35 and will be turning 36 in June. Yes, that is getting up there for a professional athlete but after looking at his 2009 resume can you really say he is declining in performance:

2009 GOLD GLOVE AWARD... 

2009 SILVER SLUGGER AWARD...

2009 ROBERTO CLEMENTE AWARD... 

2009 HANK AARON AWARD... 

2009 SPORTS ILLUSTRATED SPORTSMAN OF THE YEAR... 

2009 NY DAILY NEWS NEW YORKER OF THE YEAR... 

2009 TWIB PLAY OF THE YEAR... 

2009 TOPS THE AMERICAN LEAGUE WITH OVER 3.5 MILLION ALL STAR VOTES... 

2009 PASSES LOU GHERIG TO BECOME THE YANKEES ALL TIME HITS LEADER...
2009 BECOMES THE ALL TIME MLB HITS LEADER FOR THE SS POSITION
...
2009 .334 BA, 212 H, 107 R, 18 HR, 66 RBI, 30 SB, .406 OBP...
2009 MOVES INTO 18 PLACE ON THE AMERICAN LEAGUE'S ALL TIME HITS LIST...
2009 MOVES INTO 49 PLACE ON MLB'S ALL TIME HITS LIST... 

2009 PLAYOFFS .344 BA, .432 OBP... 

2009 WORLD SERIES .407 BA, .429 OBP,




There's no question, he just had one of the most productive seasons of his career if not the most productive. Only problem that comes up when talking about Jeter and a new contract, It is very unlikely he is going to take a pay cut. He is going to definitely want a multi-year deal and he will probably be asking for more than the almost 19 million he currently makes a year. If I'm the Yankees, I don't care what he is asking for, you give it to him. He is even more valuable than the 189 million dollar contract you gave him 9 years ago. He has been an integral part of 5 world series teams and he is the poster boy for the word consistency. Some feel he should be making in the ball park of A-rod money. I think the Yankees just need to lock him up basically for the rest of his career. Give him what he wants because without him, the last 15 would have been completely different.



Mariano in some ways is a different case, but again when it comes to performance, you would never be able to tell you were looking at a 40 year old's stats. He is the greatest regular season and post season closer of all time. This season was no different from the rest of his career, he recorded 44 saves in 46 opportunities with a 1.76 era. His post season stats are even more impressive but thats not what's in question. He has proved at 40 that he can still perform, but for how much longer? I don't know if a multi year deal is in the cards with MO. He will be 41 at the start of next season and despite all he has done for the Yankees over the years, I can't see them going with a multi year deal. Like Jeter, Mo isn't going to want to take a pay cut but that could all depend on his performance this season. If he has a good year, I can maybe see a slim chance of a 2 year deal. Mo is a class act and I don't see him making too big of a fuss over a one year deal after this season.

When it comes to Girardi, I'm still up in the air. Obviously they will structure some type of deal to keep him around, the length is what I believe will be the debate on hand. I'm still not sold on Girardi as manager. Yes I do like him personally and I think he was a great Yankee player. I know he just won a World Series this season but no offense to Joe, I might have been able to win a World Series with that much talent. I think that no matter what happens this season Girardi still deserves more time at the controls. If the Yanks don't make the playoffs this year though, last years World Series will be the last thing Yanks fans are going to be thinking about. They are going to be calling for Girardi's head which is going to put Cashman in quite the situation. So as I stated with Mariano, it is going to have a lot to do with the teams performance this season for the Skip. I think they are going to have to win the East too. There are a handful of teams out West that have greatly improved this off season and I think the Wild Card could come out of that division this year.




It's all just going to be talk right now but like I said, its going to be at the front of everyone's minds throughout this entire season. I think extending Mo's contract would be ideal. Girardi is going to want a pay increase but he better focus on getting us to October baseball if he wants to be able to walk the streets of New York after this season. Jeter gets what he wants. If he asks for another 10 contract give it to him. His value to the organization is priceless and you know he's got a solid 5 years still left in him. For now I'm going to bask in the 09 glory for a couple more weeks but as soon as that first pitch of the season is thrown, it's all about defending the title.

The Improp wants to party with these three

Seriously sometimes you just ask yourself, What the fuck is going on here? This is one of those cases. Like I said last week, I'm going to try and find people every week that we here at the Improp want to party with. My hopes are that if we ever make it big, we can send out invitations to all these winners and bring them together for an Improp party. Could you imagine? That would be the biggest shit show ever and I would be all for it. So this week I have come across this three party animals. I don't even really know where to start with this picture. One granny yacking her brains out in the trash can, another looks like she digging in for more and totally ignoring the projectile vomiting occurring inches from her. The guy basically says it all in the look on his face. He looks like he took way to many drugs on the night and he's asking himself, where did I go wrong in life. Instead of analyzing this picture any further, I just decided to translate it Improp style and let you know what they were all thinking at the time of this picture.

Click on the picture to make it more clear

Andy Roddick you lucky bastard

So there are three things that are guaranteed in live, death, taxes, and once a year Sports Illustrated graces us with it's legendary Swimsuit issue. Well my friends, today is that day. this year marks the 47th celebration of the tradition and by the looks of it, SI wasn't playing around this year. The cover features American Andy Roddicks smoking hot companion Brooklyn Decker. What a lucky man, I guess you could say she makes up for the lack of Grand Slams Roddick produces. What's better than some of the hottest girls on the planet in bikini's you ask, the hottest girls on the planet wearing nothing but body paint. This issue has plenty of that as well. This year they chose to feature some of the hottest soccer wives and girlfriends wearing only body paint. Check out the wife of American Clint Dempsey in the article, and then the fiance of English striker Peter Crouch, Abbey Clancey is pictured below. This issue really does have it all and its become about as American as apple pie. Thank you SI...

















See more of the smoking hot Soccer WAG's sporting only body paint and also many other photos of the SI models here at Sports Illustrated.

The Great Quarterback Debate

With Peyton Manning going to his second Super Bowl and winning his NFL-record 4th MVP award, I think it's time to review the great quarterback debate: Is Tom Brady or Peyton Manning the best QB of our era? The answer isn't as clear-cut as it used to be. In my eyes, at least.

If the question were proposed to me circa 2007, the answer would be definitively Tom Brady. A five-time Pro Bowler, Brady enjoyed four trips to the Super Bowl in a short seven years. Add to the mix a regular season MVP in which he set the single-season record for TDs with 50, his 11-4 postseason record, two Super Bowl MVPs and you have a pretty good case for calling him the best.

But it doesn't just stop there. In order to measure greatness in a quarterback, you have to look at the unmeasurable factors: the intangibles. And if intangibles were measurable, Brady's might be the length of the Great Wall of China. Brady was plucked out of anonymity and inserted himself into greatness after the historic lure that is his 2001 playoff debut. The 6th-round pick had sparked a team that grew complacent with mediocrity and they responded by rallying around their young signal-caller. No easy task for a player who was mildly recruited out of high school and had to jockey for the starting job at Michigan with Brian Griese and Drew Henson. I won't even mention the amount of 4th-quarter comebacks that were led on the shoulders of Brady, but needless to say there are many.

And then Tom Brady goes down in the first game of the 2008 season. Fresh off an 18-1 record-setting season, the '08 campaign that was filled with promise was now deflated. And while in 2009 Brady had another great year statisically, those intangibles that was once the length of the Great Wall of China seemed more like the Yellow Brick Road. He was missing receivers, moving slow in and out of the pocket, and taking a lot more hits. The assurance that Brady would complete a critical play or spark a trademarked long Patriot drive just wasn't 100% like it was before. The fire seemed to be missing. He seemed to be more frustrated with his players instead of trying to rejuvenate them for the next series. It feels like Brady has lost his mojo...

...And Peyton Manning is playing the role of Dr. Evil as it appears he stole Brady's mojo. While yes, Manning has always been the prototypical quarterback, he never quite had the success that Brady had. That is, until recently. Since his 2006 title run, Manning has been nothing short of a methodical machine. That same assurance that made me have a full on bromance with Brady, I am currently seeing in Manning. I don't think I have ever seen one single player impose his will and defeat a team, seemingly single-handedly.

Now it might be easy for a bias fan to solely point to the rings on Brady's fingers as enough reason to crown him the best, but I ask you, how many people have won four MVP awards? The answer is Peyton Manning. And for all we know, there may very well be more on the way. I can honestly say that I have grown to love watching Peyton Manning play football. You have to respect how he runs that offense: calling his own plays, making his infamous pre-snap audibles, and making names like Austin Collie and Pierre Garcon recognizable. And while Brady may have the more rings, I might argue that Manning would do just the same if not better if he was in Patriot blue. Manning was a product of a subpar defense. And we all know that defense wins championships.

Obviously I'm torn. There are two roads diverged in a wood and I am Robert Frost. Which one do I choose? Well when faced with life's really tough questions, I ask myself another question: If I had to pick one QB to win me one game, who would it be? Well seeing how we are fresh off a Super Bowl where Manning only had to win one game and he was the reason they lost. I may have a new lust for Manning, but Brady and I will always be bromantically involved. The answer for me was, is, and always will be Tom Brady. Although Manning is not too bad either...

Top Superbowl Commercials

We all know that the commercials make the Superbowl that much better and it's about the only way you can get most girls to watch the big game too. I put together some of my favorites from last night to share with you. As always, Bud Light had awesome commercials but I would have to say Doritos was the overall winner.

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

2010 | Super Bowl Ads | SPIKE.com

Guess This Wife...

Okay, okay. Maybe last week's Guess This Wife was a little to harsh, but the correct answer was Elisabetta Gregoraci is Flavio Briatore’s wife. Yeah I don't know who the fuck they are, but damn is she a looker. So today, I'll through you guys a softball. Can you guess which New York puck handler gets to lay with Lizzy McGuire?

Hofstra Football: Program of Champions?

The Saints winning the Super Bowl is a story I've been quietly hoping to happen since December 3rd. They deserved to win if for nothing else the horrific tragedies the city of New Orleans has persevered through. However, as the Saints knelt on the ball in their own end of the field and watched as time expired another sort of blessing happened: Hofstra University--the same school which canceled its football program at season's end--now has back-to-back Super Bowl champions.

Willie Colon was a 4th-round draft selection in the 2006 draft by the Pittsburgh Steelers. Two years later, Colon was the starting right guard on the Super Bowl champion Steelers. Marques Colston was plucked out of the 7th-round in that very same '06 draft by the New Orleans Saints. He has emerged to become a legitimate number 1 receiver and now also has a ring to compare to his college teammate's.

Admittedly, I was not up-in-arms about the cancellation of Hofstra football for the mere fact that I never saw a game that I actually remember who played and the team was mediocre at best. And while students protested with "Fuck Rabinowitz" shirts and made Facebook groups petitioning for the return of the team, I sat on my ass and didn't really give it two thoughts. After all, the program was losing $4 million a year--it only made sense to cut the team. Like in any other world, if you're not meeting expectations and you begin costing the company money, you're going to be fired. You don't have to be Donald Trump to know that.

However, last night's game got me thinking: If a team can be so bad on one level and put out such a poor product, then how can they produce two Super Bowl champions in back-to-back years? My answer would be that these coaches were better at teaching these kids the intangibles: the drive, the strive, the need to be the best. While head coach Dave Cohen and his staff may not have been the best at getting their players' to the execute x's and o's, I believe he was able to turn the players who had the talent level and skill set into motivated leaders. The players who came to Hofstra had no guarantees at a shot at the next level, they never had that privilege. I believe Cohen and his staff instilled that into his teams and made sure that if they did want to go to that next level it would be through hard work. That is something I think was overlooked by the coverage of Hofstra's cancellation.

To the reader's who are not a part of Hofstra you may not understand how much this is a blessing, especially those of you who attend big-time universities. Hofstra athletics is hardly anything worth bragging about. In fact, students are still steaming over George Mason's Final Four run in 2006--knowing damn well that it should've been Hofstra in the tournament and not them. And while I believe the majority of the school didn't care about the football team, the news of the cancellation caused a huge ripple effect among the community and the uproar was contagious. Football is an important part of American culture in general and to hear that it has been taken away from a small community--rather abruptly--was a shock.

It is nothing short of a blessing that a mere two months after the cancellation of the football program, there is a Hofstra alum with some Super Bowl bling on his finger. And it is a slightly ironic that there are now two Hofstra alums with Super Bowl bling in consecutive years.

So I raise my glass to you, Willie and Marques, for restoring some of the faith that was lost in the Hofstra football program. Maybe if Wayne Cherbet would come out of retirement we could go for three consecutive years.

Superbowl Drinking games, As if you needed another reason to drink

So I know this is late and most of you have probably already started drinking, and I hope your hammered to be honest, but here's just a few more reasons to get you smashed on this great holiday. Here's some Team geared drinking games so whatever team you are pulling for, follow their team drinking rules and by the end, hopefully you can't even get up to celebrate the win. I found the Saints one online and I made up the Colts drinking game.

Saints Drinking Game





























1. Every time they mention hurricane Katrina, drink 1.
2. If they show pictures of the City of New Orleans right after Katrina, drink 1.
3. Every time they say how much the Saints mean to the City of New Orleans, drink 1.
4. Every time the words "tragedy", "flood", or "devastation" are used, drink 1.
5. Every time they talk about how good Reggie Bush was in college, drink 3.
6. If they show Kim Kardashian in the stands, drink 5.
7. Every time they show a picture of Reggie Bush with a bat or say "bringing the wood" drink for 5 seconds.
8. Every time Reggie Bush gets negative yardage trying to run around in the backfield a bunch and outrun the defense, drink 1 and turn to the person next to you and say "I told you Vince Young should have won the Heisman."


Colts Drinking Game...



















1. Every time there is a reference to Dwight Freeney's ankle drink 1.
2. Every time there is a reference to how valuable Peyton Manning is to the team, drink 1.
3. Every time the Colts run the ball, drink 1.
4. Every time there is a commercial that features any Colts players drink 2.
5. If they show Eli Manning or Archie Manning on TV drink 3.
6. If Peyton Manning throws an interception drink 5.
7. Any time they show Peyton Manning on the sideline when the Colts aren't on Offense, Drink 5.
8. Jets fans, Whenever the Colts score any points drink the rest of your beer (it's Superbowl you better be drinking beer), turn to the person next to you and say, " We were up at Halftime, if only".

Here's my pick too:

Saints +5 parlayed with the over 57

Enjoy the game everyone...

Guess This Wife...

Oh Captain! My Captain! Can you guess which F1 driver revs up her engines in the bedroom?

Lane Kiffin: Cradle Robber

PostChronicle.com- USC football coach Lane Kiffin has struck a deal with a quarterback who isn't old enough to sign a contract.

Coach Lane Kiffin was thorooughly impressed by the skills of 13-year-old quarterback David Sills - so they made a verbal deal that Sills will sign with the Trojans when he is old enough.

Sills, a six-foot tall quarterback from Bear, Del., verbally committed to the USC Trojans at the request of USC coach Lane Kiffin even though he's only 13 years of age.

Personal coach Steve Clarkson says of Sills: "His skill set is off the charts. I've never seen anyone at his age do what he's been able to do."

This kid is unbelievable. You have check out the video below. But what is even more unbelievable is, at the blooming age of 13, this guy is getting a full scholarship to one of the top universities in the country. All I have to say is, this kid better thank God that he can hurl a pigskin, otherwise he'd be one freakish outcast. I mean, the kid is six feet and only 13-years-old. SIX FEET?!?

Props to my boy, Lane, for scooping this kid up before anyone else got to him. Waaayyy before anyone could get to him. But the best part of this story? It has to be the video soundtrack. I'm telling you check it out. It makes this pimply-faced fuck look like some sort of Godsend. Let's tone it down a little bit here, for all we know this kid's balls could never drop and turn out to be a transvestite...Hey, it could happen.

This is why I love Bud Light

Now chances are we probably wont be seeing this commercial during the Superbowl for various reasons. It is still one of the better bud light commercials I have seen in a long time. One of the only things I love better than a cold Bud Light is their hilarious commercials. I definitely want to work at this company too, a clothes drive? That's genius, I'd wear at least like 5 extra layers to work just to me help make it through the day. It's the drinkability baby!

It's about that time for an Improp prediction

It's the Friday before the Super Bowl and I think it's about time to unveil who Mr. Wes (yes, I just did and quite often refer to myself as Mr. Wes) thinks is going to win the Super Bowl. While my predictions during the playoffs were nothing short of abysmal, I think I figured it out. I think I found out the key to winning a butt-load of bucks this Sunday. You want to know my secret? Well, I don't think it's much of a secret, but it's never betting against Peyton Manning.

Which is pretty ironic if you think about it. Remember when Peyton Manning would've sold his left nut for a win in the playoffs? It's funny how things can turn around. But one might say, Peyton just needed a defense to win in the playoffs. Well, now he has one. For the last 2-3 years the Colts have been the best team to bet on, Peyton being a large part of that--if not the majority. And this run Peyton has been on is very similar to those championship years Brady and Patriots had. I know I talk about Tom Brady a lot on here--but bromance aside--it's because the guy is a football legend, like him or not. Those two players and their careers will be forever intertwined. And now it's Peyton's turn to get another ring.

Don't get me wrong here. The Saints are no slouch. If wrath of Peyton's offensive prowess didn't intimidate me so much, I might take the Saints to win. They have an opportunistic defense that has a nose for the ball, a strong 3-headed monster in the backfield, with a full-fledged stars at quarterback and receivers. Not to mention the sentimental story of the city rallying around their football team after Hurricane Katrina and bringing home a Super Bowl title. AND how cool would it be for Hofstra alum, Marques Colston, raising the Lombardi Trophy just months after the school cut the football program?

My head tells me to pick the Colts and my heart is telling me to root for the Saints. Hopefully a cooler head prevails over a burning heart. I'm taking the Colts (-6) and parlaying it with the under of the 56.5 point total. That's a pretty high total considering the Super Bowl has been relatively low-scoring (the last high-scoring game was in 2003 with the Patriots and Panthers tallying 61 points).

But if all this shit just flew over your head, don't worry. There are plenty of other things to bet on to make the game interesting for even the ditsiest of blondes. Check out what THE EMPIRE has to offer.

Spotlight Artist: Trees Above Mandalay

As you have all become accustomed to while following the Improp, you know that we like to feature up and coming artists or bands with a lot of promise. Not only do we do it to show our support and try to get their name out to our readers, we truly feel that the people we feature have the potential to make it big in the music industry. When it comes to bands on the rise, we have struck gold when it comes to Trees Above Mandalay. A product of New Jersey, Trees has been together for about three years now and their success continues to grow everyday. The music they produce can not be limited to just one genre or style due to the vast range the band has displayed. Their great work ethic and dedication have made them what they are today, and what they are is a Band that I believe will be a household name someday soon.

I wanted to take some time to put together a piece that would both introduce you to Trees Above Mandalay as a group, and give you a listen to their unique sound. I use the word unique because that is just how the band describes the sound themselves. Together, Sean Staranka, Dave Glynn, Brett Coleman, Austen Howell, and Tim Baker make up Trees Above Mandalay, but separately they have all been playing music on a serious level for almost a decade now. As I stated before, Trees Above Mandalay is not like your typical rock style band trying to make it to the big show by selling out or changing who they are. Tree's stays loyal to what they believe in. These guys truly care about the people, their fans and followers. Those who have had the privilege to see Trees live will tell you they leave everything on the stage and it stems from the love and passion each member has for entertaining.

I don't want to make any comparisons to any other bands because Trees really does have a sound of its own. Take a listen for yourselves.



As you can see, Trees has fun but at the same time they are serious about what they do when it comes to their music. Likeable guys with exceptional talent and potential through the roof. The success they have had from their EP "Palace" has given them quite the following around the New Jersey area. With their latest single, "I'm Going Big" that’s just what the band hopes to do, make it big.



















As a good friend of Guitarist Brett Coleman I can honestly say there aren’t many people that I would rather see have this type of success. Brett is one of the nicest and all around great people I have ever been friends with. Knowing the type of guy Brett is, I know the other members of Trees are good guys as well which is why I wish nothing but the best to the band.

In conclusion, I couldn't think of any better way to sum up the band, other than to share with you how they view themselves in their own Bio. They put it perfectly;

"If it’s the flavor of the week band that you are looking for, then this is not your band. However, if it’s a group of hard working, dedicated musicians with the will, personality, and charisma to have longevity, which is something hard pressed to find nowadays, than Trees Above Mandalay is most certainly the band you are looking for."


















Make sure you take a few minutes to check out Trees Above Mandalay’s music and T shirts on Myspace and you can even follow them on Twitter. You wouldn't be complete unless you friended them on Facebook as well so get on it.

Buy Trees Above Mandalay's "Palace" here


Be sure to stay up to date on all the Trees Above Mandalay news, upcoming shows and appearances by following them on myspace below.
http://www.myspace.com/treesabovemandalay

More Trees Music…
http://www.purevolume.com/treesabovemandalay

If you would like to contact Trees Above Mandalay, you can email them here.

Improp goes to Vegas

So I've been gambling a little bit lately, especially after the Jets screwed me and couldn’t cover, and I cant hit a hand playing poker lately. So I've been dabbing my pen into some other sports I usually wouldn't touch such as Hockey. It's been going alright but I saw something that got me thinking. I haven't put a dollar on the upcoming Superbowl yet mainly because I have no idea who’s going to win. I really think it's a toss up going in, and at the end I can see it being a blowout by either team. I passed up and opportunity to get in on a $500 square which guarantees like over $50,000 in prize returns. If my buddy wins that square I’m going to kick myself so hard in the ass, but I am just too poor right now to risk the money. Then I saw something that got me thinking, why not just throw a shit load of money on all the ridiculous prop bets they have. I'm going to get you in on my bets and I want your feedback as to what you think. It's crazy these days you can bet on absolutely anything, here's what I’m talking about...

The National Anthem

Over/Under 1 minute 41 seconds

My bet - I think I’m going to do some research on this one, even though I’m sure that’s what Vegas has already done setting that time. My love Carrie Underwood is going to be belting out our National tune. I'm thinking it's going to be pretty drawn out so I'm throwing my money on the over. Don't let me down Carrie, sing as long as your want.




























The Coach Thanks

Who will the winning head coach thank first?

Team
Staff
God
Family
No One

This really depends on who wins obviously. Either way though you would think they have to thank the players first right? They are the ones who got you there and just won it for you but I don't see that happening, for some reason I see them getting all emotional and thanking their family first. That’s a long shot.























Gatorade Prop-

What color will the Gatorade be when it gets dumped on the coach

Blue
lime green
yellow
red
orange
clear, water

I have to go with Blue just cause if I had to put my life on the line, I'm taking Peyton and the Colts in this game. Their colors are blue so I'd have to assume they drink blue Gatorade? Once again I have no idea I’m just amazed you can bet on this.























How many times will CBS show Kim Kardashian on TV?

+/- 2.5 times

I have to go over with this one. The Game has become more and more geared towards the stars that attend just as much as whats going down on the field. To not show that smokeshow at least 5 times would be a crime in itself. You know you want to CBS.






























Who Will Have More on Feb 7th 2010

Rory McIlroy 4th Round Score at Dubai Desert -½
Marques Colston (Saints) Receiving Yards +½

I think this one is a lock and I have to show some love to my boy Marques Colston. I played baseball at Hofstra at the same time he was playing Football. I have to pick him here too, I think he's going to have a huge game. I see him going for at least 100 yards. McIlroy will probably shoot right around a 74 I’m going to say. He has to make the cut into the weekend too so hopefully he won't even do that and I win the bet by default.
























I love Vegas. There's the 5 prop bets I have decided to go with, now I need your help. Let me know what you think and if I should change anything. Also, help me win money and let me know if you think you have and locks and want to share the wealth. Leave your comments below and let your voice be heard!

Also, whatever team has the most votes in our poll of the week is who I'm going to bet in to win the game straight up no spreads so make sure you take 2 seconds and vote to your right.

See what too much Twilight does to people?

Now this chick is straight up crazy there’s no way around it. I told people the whole Twilight craze was a bad idea for this very reason, you actually have people thinking they are part wolf? I mean come one now, there’s no way this girl went through her entire life thinking she was a wolf, she went and saw new moon and thought hey, I think there’s a good chance I have some wolf in me as well. She's definitely not right in the head, especially when she starts talking about the dead dog. What the hell is that sword she is waving around towards the end of the video too, I'd be scared to be anywhere near this girl with that thing in hand. I'm not even going to get into the fact that she beheaded a dog? Anyway, this is why I've been saying since day one, this whole Twilight and New Moon bullshit is just absurd. Girls please, how many times do you have to be told, there are no such things as vampires. If your into pasty albino looking guys that are socially awkward, move to Alaska or something like that cause your not going to find Edward Cullen at your local 7 11 no matter how crazy you are. Lastly, Wolfie? You couldn’t come up with a more original name than Wolfie? At least give yourself something cool and badass to go by if your going to claim to be part wolf.

How much is YOUR viriginity worth?

Wellington, New Zealand- Police have advised a New Zealand student who auctioned her virginity on the Internet that she could be endangering herself.The anonymous 19-year-old student offered her virginity to the highest bidder under the name "Unigirl," saying she would use the money to pay for her tuition.

She says that more than 30,000 people viewed her advertisement and more than 1,200 had made bids.She says she has accepted an offer of more than New Zealand dollars 45,000 (US$32,000).

National police spokesman Jon Neilson says such Web site soliciting is not illegal in New Zealand, but "we would suggest it's not a safe practice."

We, at the Improper Sportsonian, like to rely on our own original thought for the majority of our posts. However, every now and again we like put up odd stories, that perhaps the average person wouldn't see/hear about.

So today I'm surfing the web trying to find something interesting to throw up here when I came across the story above. I really didn't have to choice but to give some attention to this story. I didn't pick out this story, the story picked out me. This chick's got the right idea, here. I mean, it's business 101: supply a product that's in high demand (in this case an unused, warm, moist vagina) and watch as the consumers fight over it. Now granted, this happens everyday. All you have to do is go down to your local college bar and see the sluts that walk-in and the tools who fight over them. But fighting for a girl's unused vajayjay on the internet is quite the different story.

There's two questions I would like to bring up today. 1.Is there going to be a doctor there to provide medical, documented proof that this girl is, in fact, a virgin. Like before I do the dirty deed I want a doctor showing charts and shit about how this chick is 100% a virgin. I know how girls like to tell dumbass guys that they're virgins. I won't fall for it. 2. How much would you pay for your virginity? As a guy, it's a little different. I lost my virginity in the summer of 2004. At that point I would have sold it for 10 fucking cents. That's how bad I was trying to lose it.

But for girls? I'm sure they hold that shit to their hearts. So that's the question I pose to YOU: How much is your virginity worth?

Guess This Wife...SUPER BOWL EDITION

Can you guess which Super Bowl stud hides his Trojan Horse in this girl's backside?

In an ironic twist of events, dog owner killed by dogs after saving dogs' lives

A Slovenian who saved his three dogs from being put down for attacking humans was himself mauled to death by them, police said Wednesday.

"Three dogs bit their 52-year-old owner to death in Ljubljana yesterday," police spokeswoman Maja Adlesic said.

Four years ago, the three bullmastiffs attacked and seriously injured a passer-by outside their owner's house. They spent years in custody pending legal hearings, but when one of them attacked a dog handler, authorities ordered them to be put down.

Their owner, a doctor, succeeded last June in his legal appeals to get the dogs back, sparking a national controversy. After his death, an opposition party said the agriculture minister should resign for failing to stop the dogs from being released.

The dogs attacked the man in his garden Tuesday, killing him before the police arrived. All three dogs were put down following the attack.

This guy has to feel like the dumbest fucking guy in Slovenia. And I imagine that would be quite the feat considering I think everyone in Slovenia is pretty slow in the head. He fights for his dogs, who have a history of attacking people, and wins. And what is his prize? Getting chomped to death by those very same dogs that he saved. You can't write this sort of shit, ya know? It's poetic really.

And let's make something clear, these dogs weren't like my friend fluffy. These dawgs were 2-feet, 130-pound monster Bullmastiffs. These boys aren't playing around. But to be honest, the guy deserves it. If you have a dog that attacks people, it's your responsibility to get the dog taken care of. I don't care how much you love your Lucy or Prince. Put the damn dog down.

Dreams really do come true for some people

Now as most of my close friends know, I'm in no way a smoker. I hate being high and its just not my cup of tea I guess. On the other hand, most of my friends and large advocates of marijuana, and more power to them. I just never really got into it, but at the same time, it never really bothered me in the slightest. This however, has to be the heaven that every stoner dreams of after passing out from their latest session. This genius has opened pot smokers euphoria in his new mega store, Igrow. He's even got a doctor on hand to give out the medical cards needed to get weed legally. Just watch the video and see for yourself, this place is unreal. Even as someone who cant stand being high, seeing this place almost makes me wish I smoked. I have a feeling I'm going to have some friends moving to Oakland soon. I’m actually considering it myself, you can make an absolute killing selling weed in Cali. Anyone down?