Why America is the preeminent drinking country

Yahoo!.com- Tough new rules for pubs and clubs -- including a ban on drinking games like the infamous "dentist's chair" -- will be introduced in Britain this year in a bid to curb a heavy drinking culture that costs the country billions of a pounds a year. Other promotions like "all you can drink for 10 pounds ($16)," speed drinking competitions and "women drink free" nights will also be prohibited.

But, controversially, bulk offers of cheap alcohol in supermarkets -- widely regarded as one of the main sources of Britain's problems with under-age and excessive drinking -- will not be affected. Home Secretary Alan Johnson said he did not want to target responsible drinkers on low incomes, but that the government and the industry had a duty to act on booze-fueled promotions.

"These practices have a real impact on society, not to mention the lives of those who just want to enjoy a good night out," he said.

The dentist's chair, where drinks are poured directly into the mouth by others, was made famous by the celebrations of footballer Paul Gascoigne at Euro '96. It will be banned from April and publicans will have to ensure free tap water is made available to revelers.

First of all, let me start by saying that I will be playing the dentist's chair tonight! Great name for a great game. Having said that, the Brits are showing why they have one of the lowest birth rates in the world: they are a master of pulling out! First they pull out of the Revolutionary War and now this?

What would the good Queen think of all this Tom Foolery? Granted, Britian may have been ahead of the curve with their games, but why get rid of them? These are the games American bars are looking for to draw in business. Let's face it, there's only some many beer pong tourneys a place can hold.

I mean, "women drink free" nights? Are you kidding me? And I thought I was on a cold streak with the ladies. Turns out I just had to go to one of these British bars to bag a chick. But on a serious note, I would put a stop to the bulk offers of alcohol by the retailers before hitting up the bars. But the country's probably making more money from the retailers than the bars, especially if they do all you can drink for 10 pounds.

I would never see an all you can drink bar for $16 bucks. Then again I don't think the government would put any further restrictions on drinking, either. This is why America is just so much better than Britian. I mean, they wouldn't get rid of beer pong. That's like taking baseball away from us. And flip cup? That's like taking away football! These games are just apart of our culture as the Constitution.

Think about it, when a foreigner comes over to the States what do you usually show him? A baseball game? And when a foreigner comes over to the States and wants to get drunk what do you usually teach him? That's right, beer pong. I mean, it's as American as apple pie. Would McDonald's take away their 2-for-$1 apple pies? Fuck no.

That's why America is the place to get your drunk on. America: Land of the Free, Home of the Drunk.