The Improp has fun with Google

So I was scrolling through Google looking for stories to read up on Lane Kiffin this morning. To be honest, USC hiring him came out of left field for me. But I'm not completely against it like most people seem to be. The only thing that leaves me scratching me head is how Kiffin bagged one of the top jobs in the country after two mediocre seasons. I want whatever that guy has for breakfast!

But I digress. Like I said, I was scrolling through Google when I started to type, "Lane Kiffin is at USC". Before I could finish the phrase however, Google came up with the most popular searches for Lane Kiffin is. The screenshot may not be that clear but here's what it came up with.

LANE KIFFIN IS A DOUCHE.
LANE KIFFIN IS AN IDIOT.
LANE KIFFIN IS HOT.
LANE KIFFIN IS A JOKE.
LANE KIFFIN IS A JACKASS.

I utterly love the fact that the most searched thing for him is LANE KIFFIN IS A DOUCHE. I guess other people don't think as much of him as I do. If I was the son of the legendary Monty Kiffin and had a head coaching job with three prestigious football programs, I might be a little cocky and brash myself. Hell, I respect that about Lane Kiffin.

And this got me thinking...What could be some other funny things to type in. I racked my brain for a few minutes and came up with the phrase "Tiger Woods is" and here's what Google turned up.

TIGER WOODS IS A JERK.
TIGER WOODS IS A GOD.
TIGER WOODS IS AN IDIOT.
TIGER WOODS IS A DOUCHE.
TIGER WOODS IS A CHEATER.
TIGER WOODS IS A PIG.

Damn, Google really loves the word douche. Google would probably call my mom a douche. And if that were to happen, I'd have to stomp Google's electronic ass. So watch the filth Google, I'm watching you.

If you're ever bored, I suggest you do this. It's a fun way to kill the time. Plus, it's fucking hysterical to actually see what people ask Google. Take, for example, when I type in "my underwear":

MY UNDERWEAR ARE ALWAYS WET.
MY UNDERWEAR SMELLS LIKE AMMONIA.
MY UNDERWEAR SMELLS.
MY UNDERWEAR SMELLS LIKE PEE.
MY UNDERWEAR IS WET.
MY UNDERWEAR IS YELLOW.

I'm sorry but if your underwear is always wet, I don't think Google can help you. And if you're sitting at your computer with a wet pair of draws on, you got some bigger problems on your hands than just a wet pair of Hanes.